HSTuners - Man, ostrich, and cat....what every joke needs

A man walks up to the bar with an ostrich behind

_him, and as he sits, a small cat jumps up on the stool beside him. The

_bartender comes over, and asks for their order.

_The man says, "I'll have a beer" and turns to the ostrich. "What's yours?"

_"I'll have a beer, too" says the ostrich.

_The cat says "I'll have a half beer, but I'm not paying for it."

_The bartender pours the beer and says "That will

_be $3.40 please," and the man reaches into his pocket and pulls out exact

_change for payment.

_ The next day, the man, ostrich and cat come again, and the man says

_"I'll have a beer,"

_ The ostrich says "I'll have the same," and the cat

_says "I'll have a half glass of beer but I'm not paying for it." Once

_again the man reaches into his pocket and pays with exact

_change. This becomes a routine until, late one evening, the trio enter again.

_ "The usual?" asks the bartender.

_ "Well, it's close to last call, so I'll have a large scotch." says the man.

_ "Same for me." says the ostrich.

_ "I'll have a small scotch, but I'm not paying for

_it!" says the cat.

_ That will be $7.20 says the bartender. Once again

_the man pulls exact change out of his pocket and places it on the bar. The

_bartender can't hold back his curiosity any longer.

_ "Excuse me, sir? How do you manage to always come

_up with the exact change out of your pocket every time?"

_ "Well," says the man, "several years ago I was cleaning the attic and found

an old lamp. When I rubbed it a Genie appeared and offered me two wishes.

_ My first wish was that if I ever had to pay for anything, I just put my hand

in my pocket, and the right amount of money will always be there."

_ "That's brilliant!" says the bartender. "Most people would wish for a

_ million dollars or something, but you'll always be

_as rich as you want for as long as you live!"

_ "That's right! Whether it's a gallon of milk or a

_Rolls Royce, the exact money is always there." says the man.

_ The bartender asks "One other thing, sir, what's

_with the ostrich and the_ cat?"

_ The man replies "My second wish was for a chick

_with long legs, and a tight pussy.