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-   -   jokes part 2 (http://www.hstuners.com/forums/showthread.php?t=8683)

mt.biker 10-27-2002 04:17 PM

jokes part 2
 
A recent Scottish immigrant attends his first baseball game in his new country and after a base hit he hears the fans roaring "Run....run!"
The next batter connects heavily with the ball and the Scotsman stands up and roars with the crowd in his thick accent: "R-r-run ya bahstard, r-run will ya!"

A third batter slams a hit and again the Scotsman, obviously pleased with his knowledge of the game, screams: "R-r-run ya bahstard, r-r-run will ya!"

The next batter held his swing at three and two and as the ump calls a walk. The Scotsman stands up yelling: "R-r-run ya Bahstard, r-r-run!" All the surrounding fans chuckle quietly and he sits down confused. A friendly fan, sensing his embarrassment whispers, "He doesn't have to run, he got four balls."

"Walk with pr-r-ride man!"
_________________________________
"Doc," says Steve, "I want to be castrated."
"What on earth for?" asks the doctor in amazement.

"It's something I've been thinking about for a long time and I want to have it done" replies Steve.

"But have you thought it through properly?" asks the doctor, "It's a very serious operation and once it's done, there's no going back. It will change your life forever!"

"I'm aware of that and you're not going to change my mind -- either you book me in to be castrated or I'll simply go to another doctor."

"Well, OK.", says the doctor, "But it's against my better judgment!"

So Steve has his operation, and the next day he is up and walking very slowly, legs apart, down the hospital corridor with his drip stand. Heading towards him is another patient, who is walking exactly the same way.

"Hi there," says Steve,"It looks as if you've just had the same operation as me."

"Well," said the patient, "I finally decided after 37 years of life that I would like to be circumcised."

Steve stared at him in horror and screamed, "shoot! THAT'S the word!”

________________________________________

A bus stops and two Italian men get on. They seat themselves, and engage in animated conversation. The lady sitting behind them ignores their conversation at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of the men say the following:
''Emma come first. Den I come. Two asses, they come together. I come again. Two asses, they come together again. I come again and pee twice. Then I come once-a-more.''

''You foul-mouthed swine,'' retorted the lady indignantly. ''In this country we don't talk about our sex lives in public.''

''Hey, coola down lady,'' said the man. ''Imma just tella my friend howa to spella Mississippi.''

Kyle 10-27-2002 04:23 PM

Re: jokes part 2
 
Quote:

Originally posted by mt.biker
[B

_________________________________
"Doc," says Steve, "I want to be castrated."
"What on earth for?" asks the doctor in amazement.

"It's something I've been thinking about for a long time and I want to have it done" replies Steve.

"But have you thought it through properly?" asks the doctor, "It's a very serious operation and once it's done, there's no going back. It will change your life forever!"

"I'm aware of that and you're not going to change my mind -- either you book me in to be castrated or I'll simply go to another doctor."

"Well, OK.", says the doctor, "But it's against my better judgment!"

So Steve has his operation, and the next day he is up and walking very slowly, legs apart, down the hospital corridor with his drip stand. Heading towards him is another patient, who is walking exactly the same way.

"Hi there," says Steve,"It looks as if you've just had the same operation as me."

"Well," said the patient, "I finally decided after 37 years of life that I would like to be circumcised."

Steve stared at him in horror and screamed, "shoot! THAT'S the word!”

[/b]

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

94_AcCoRd_EX 10-27-2002 05:11 PM

The second one is great! :D :D

ShEaNy 10-27-2002 05:19 PM

LOL i think there all funny!:D:D:banana:

DsBlu01CivEX 10-27-2002 05:29 PM

i'm surprised the guys think the second one is funny....shows how dumb they can be sometimes!:foot: ;)

ShEaNy 10-27-2002 05:36 PM

HEy! thats not nice :eek: :no: :pfft: ;) im smrt

DsBlu01CivEX 10-27-2002 05:41 PM

No one said I had to be nice all the time....I wanna talk to the manager!

Kyle 10-27-2002 05:41 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by DsBlu01CivEX
i'm surprised the guys think the second one is funny....shows how dumb they can be sometimes!:foot: ;)

We're not alound to laugh?...
and there are alot of things that show how dumb women can be too...:foot: :busted:

DsBlu01CivEX 10-27-2002 05:42 PM

yah i know...but normally it's blonde women....this is just a man in general. I know that not all men are stupid.

Kyle 10-27-2002 05:44 PM

:cigar: :bandit:

ShEaNy 10-27-2002 05:53 PM

I AM SO SMART SMRT LOL....:crazy: :crazy: ;) :banghead:

ebpda9 10-27-2002 06:09 PM

lmao for the second one ;)

Rob 10-27-2002 10:11 PM

Re: jokes part 2
 
Quote:

Originally posted by mt.biker
''Hey, coola down lady,'' said the man. ''Imma just tella my friend howa to spella Mississippi.''

:D Guess this ones for me since I'm the only Italian around here from MS :paranoid:
Quote:

Originally posted by DsBlu01CivEX
No one said I had to be nice all the time....I wanna talk to the manager!

Alright D, I want you to sit in the corner and think about what you just said!!! :pfft: :moon:

juvenile 10-27-2002 10:39 PM

LOL they are all SOOO hillarious :yes: ;)

mt.biker 10-27-2002 10:47 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by DsBlu01CivEX
No one said I had to be nice all the time....I wanna talk to the manager!


:moon:

ShEaNy 10-27-2002 10:53 PM

i better join in :moon:

DsBlu01CivEX 10-28-2002 10:37 AM

wow...I just got to see 3 guys' @sses. Thanks boys!!! hehe I haven't seen that much @ss in well...um I don't know how long! Amazing how all of them look the same....you guys all must go to the same gym huh?

And I still wanna see the manager!;)

firstgeardude 10-28-2002 11:10 AM

the third one is great ;)

Zybach 10-28-2002 06:15 PM

HAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAA MISSISSIPPI hahahahah:) :o :no: :rolleyes: :kiss: ;( :| :pukey :crazy: :wave: :bow: :banana: :cigar: :banghead: :help: :bs: :hmmm: :spam: :censored: :busted: :chicken: :zombie: :moon: :foot: :doh: :rambo: :ricer: :pfft: :smoking: :eek: :D :paranoid: :bandit: :confused: :mad: :cool: ;) :yes:

ShEaNy 10-28-2002 06:18 PM

LOL WOW FACE CITY.....*manager comes in.. UR FIRED ... walks out*:D :D :moon: :rambo:

mt.biker 10-28-2002 06:21 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by DsBlu01CivEX
And I still wanna see the manager!;)


trouble maker.....:censored:

Rob 10-28-2002 09:44 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by DsBlu01CivEX
Amazing how all of them look the same....you guys all must go to the same gym huh?
no. :paranoid:

Rob 10-28-2002 09:45 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by firstgeardude
the third one is great ;)

what? the third ass? :D :busted:


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