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-   -   Cyber-Sex Convo (WARNING: Explicit) (http://www.hstuners.com/forums/showthread.php?t=5599)

juvenile 06-09-2002 06:53 PM

Cyber-Sex Convo (WARNING: Explicit)
 
:D
Alain: Hello, Sweetheart. What do you look like?

Sweetheart: I am wearing a red silk blouse, a miniskirt and high heels.
I work out every day, I'm toned and perfect. My measurements are 36-24-36.
What do you look like?

Alain: I'm 6'1" and about 160 pounds. I wear glasses and I have on a
pair of blue sweat pants I just bought from Walmart.I'm also wearing a
T-shirt with a few spots of barbecue sauce on it from dinner...it
smells funny.

Sweetheart: I want you. Would you like to screw me?

Alain: OK

Sweetheart: We're in my bedroom.There's soft music playing on the stereo and
candles on my dresser and night table.I'm looking up into your eyes, smiling.
My hand works its way down to your crotch and begins to fondle your huge,
swelling bulge.

Alain: I'm gulping, I'm beginning to sweat.

Sweetheart: I'm pulling up your shirt and kissing your chest.

Alain: Now I'm unbuttoning your blouse.My hands are trembling.

Sweetheart: I'm moaning softly.

Alain: I'm taking hold of your blouse and sliding it off slowly.

Sweetheart: I'm throwing my head back in pleasure.The cool silk slides off my
warm skin.I'm rubbing your bulge faster, pulling and rubbing.

Alain: My hand suddenly jerks spastically and accidentally rips a hole in your
blouse.I'm sorry.

Sweetheart: That's OK, it wasn't really too expensive.

Alain: I'll pay for it.

Sweetheart: Don't worry about it.I'm wearing a lacy black bra. My soft breasts
are rising and falling, as I breath harder and harder.

Alain: I'm fumbling with the clasp on your bra.I think it's stuck. Do you have
any scissors?

Sweetheart: I take your hand and kiss it softly.I'm reaching back undoing the
clasp. The bra slides off my body. The air caresses my breasts. My nipples
are erect for you.

Alain: How did you do that? I'm picking up the bra and inspecting the clasp.

Sweetheart: I'm arching my back. Oh baby. I just want to feel your tongue all
over me.

Alain: I'm dropping the bra. Now I'm licking your, you know, breasts. They're
neat!

Sweetheart: I'm running my fingers through your hair. Now I'm nibbling your
ear.

Alain: I suddenly sneeze. Your breasts are covered with spit and phlegm.

Sweetheart: What?

Alain: I'm so sorry. Really.

Sweetheart: I'm wiping your phlegm off my breasts with the remains of my
blouse.

Alain: I'm taking the sopping wet blouse from you. I drop it with a plop.

Sweetheart: OK. I'm pulling your sweat pants down and rubbing your hard tool.

Alain: I'm screaming like a woman. Your hands are cold! Yeeee!

Sweetheart: I'm pulling up my miniskirt. Take off my panties.

Alain: I'm pulling off your panties. My tongue is going all over, in and out
nibbling on you...umm... wait a minute.

Sweetheart: What's the matter?

Alain: I've got a pubic hair caught in my throat. I'm choking.

Sweetheart: Are you OK?

Alain: I'm having a coughing fit. I'm turning all red.

Sweetheart: Can I help?

Alain: I'm running to the kitchen, choking wildly. I'm fumbling through the
cabinets, looking for a cup. Where do you keep your cups?

Sweetheart: In the cabinet to the right of the sink.

Alain: I'm drinking a cup of water. There, that's better.

Sweetheart: Come back to me, lover.

Alain: I'm washing the cup now.

Sweetheart: I'm on the bed arching for you.

Alain: I'm drying the cup. Now I'm putting it back in the cabinet. And now I'm
walking back to the bedroom. Wait, it's dark, I'm lost. Where's the bedroom?

Sweetheart: Last door on the left at the end of the hall.

Alain: I found it.

Sweetheart: I'm tuggin' off your pants. I'm moaning. I want you so badly.

Alain: Me too.

Sweetheart: Your pants are off. I kiss you passionately-our naked bodies
pressing each other.

Alain: Your face is pushing my glasses into my face. It hurts.

Sweetheart: Why don't you take off your glasses?

Alain: OK, but I can't see very well without them. I place the glasses on the
night table.

Sweetheart: I'm bending over the bed. Give it to me, baby!

Alain: I have to pee. I'm fumbling my way blindly across the room and toward
the bathroom.

Sweetheart: Hurry back, lover.

Alain: I find the bathroom and it's dark. I'm feeling around for the toilet.
I lift the lid.

Sweetheart: I'm waiting eagerly for your return.

Alain: I'm done going. I'm feeling around for the flush handle, but I can't
find it. Uh-oh!

Sweetheart: What's the matter now?

Alain: I've realized that I've peed into your laundry hamper. Sorry again. I'm
walking back to the bedroom now, blindly feeling my way.

Sweetheart: Mmm, yes. Come on.

Alain: OK, now I'm going to put my...you know ...thing...in your...you know...
woman's thing.

Sweetheart: Yes! Do it, baby! Do it!

Alain: I'm touching your smooth butt. It feels so nice. I kiss your neck. Umm,
I'm having a little trouble here.

Sweetheart: I'm moving my ass back and forth, moaning. I can't stand it
another second! Slide in! Screw me now!

Alain: I'm flaccid.

Sweetheart: What?

Alain: I'm limp. I can't sustain an erection.

Sweetheart: I'm standing up and turning around; an incredulous look on my face.

Alain: I'm shrugging with a sad look on my face, my weiner all floppy. I'm
going to get my glasses and see what's wrong.

Sweetheart: No, never mind. I'm getting dressed. I'm putting on my underwear.
Now I'm putting on my wet nasty blouse.

Alain: No wait! Now I'm squinting, trying to find the night table. I'm feeling
along the dresser, knocking over cans of hair spray, picture frames and your
candles.

Sweetheart: I'm buttoning my blouse. Now I'm putting on my shoes.

Alain: I've found my glasses. I'm putting them on. My God! One of our candles
fell on the curtain. The curtain is on fire! I'm pointing at it, a shocked
look on my face.

Sweetheart: Go to hell. I'm logging off, you loser!

Alain: Now the carpet is on fire! Oh noooo!

Sweetheart: <

94_AcCoRd_EX 06-09-2002 07:11 PM

:D :D :D :D That cracked me up. One of the funniest things I've read in a long time.

Maxvla 06-09-2002 08:13 PM

ive seen another version... but this one's longer and funnier.

mt.biker 06-09-2002 08:15 PM

LMAO that is dam good bro

Accord Man 06-09-2002 08:35 PM

haha, funny.. ;)

Violent Apathy 06-09-2002 08:52 PM

Moo.
 
OMFG few things i see on the internet make me laugh as hard as I did reading that... :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D

DRAG Boosted Si 06-09-2002 10:54 PM

your sh*ts WEAKSAUSE:crazy:

heartbreakkid 06-10-2002 02:29 AM

hahahhahahah LMAO

Kyle 06-10-2002 02:25 PM

:D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :crazy: :eek: :bow: :bandit:

ShEaNy 06-10-2002 02:58 PM

BAHAHAHA that took a while but was worth it!!:bow: :D :D :D :D

KwikR6 06-10-2002 03:13 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by DRAG Boosted Si
your sh*ts WEAKSAUSE:crazy:
lol
yeah that's sh*ts old.....

Wren57 06-10-2002 03:19 PM

Haha... very very funny
Got in trouble at work... boss got mad at me for laughing too hard... was supposed to be working
Oops:D :D :D

ChrisCantSkate 06-10-2002 05:32 PM

hahaha good one.

juvenile 06-10-2002 08:57 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by highlander
Haha... very very funny
Got in trouble at work... boss got mad at me for laughing too hard... was supposed to be working
Oops:D :D :D


Brian...WHY AREN'T YOU WORKING AGAIN. "Cyber Sex convo"?
Brian, are you have cyber sex ON THE INTERNET....AT WORK? *mumbling while leaving* crazy...stupid...teenagers...can't even...afford a hoe.


:D

90civiclxryder 06-10-2002 09:03 PM

lmao that was so funny, my parents were lookin at me funny for laugin so hard

ChrisCantSkate 06-11-2002 01:37 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by 90civiclxryder
lmao that was so funny, my parents were lookin at me funny for laugin so hard
haha, whats even worse is when they wana know what your laughing at


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