How to attract white trash
 

It's simple...ask your city to have a big trash pick-up. Every other year around here people in a given area can put out larger than normal items they no longer have use for. A good idea in principle, but then with it comes the scavengers. Some of it I get...like people taking old lawnmowers and appliances. Shit that can be fixed and either used or resold. But some of these people are just dipshits. Like who in their right mind would pick up old furniture? There are people who literally creep up and down streets picking through other people's trash. A lot of them haul off shit like old couches. What the fuck? You have no clue where that couch has been or what's on it. Then I formulated a plan. It'll be another 2 years before our next big trash day so I figure in that amount of time I can find an old couch and wait. Then about 3 weeks or so before the pick-up, I'll just start pissing all over the couch every other day or so. Then I'll set it out at the curb and wait for some bumpkin to come pick it up. That way I win and everyone else loses.

This may be the most pathetic day of the year.

you sir have serious issues.

I second that.