I wish I were this witty sometimes
 

I was cruising at my usual speed (i.e., 10 mph over
the limit), I passed over a bridge only to find a cop
with a radar gun the other side laying in wait.

The cop pulled me over, walked up to the car, and with
that classic patronizing smirk we all know and love,
asked, "What's your hurry?"

To which I replied, "I'm late for work."

"Oh yeah," said the cop, "what do you do?"

"I'm a rectum stretcher," I responded.

The cop stammered, "A what? A rectum stretcher? And
just what does a rectum stretcher do?"

"Well," I said, "I start by inserting one finger, then
I work my way up to two fingers, then three, then
four, then with my whole hand in I work side to side
until I can get both hands in, and then I slowly but
surely stretch, until it's about 6 foot wide."

"And just what the hell do you do with a 6 foot ass
hole?"

To which I politely replied, "You give him a radar gun
and park him behind a bridge....."

Traffic Ticket: $195.00

Court Costs: $45.00

The look on that cop's face: PRICELESS!!

good joke
bad ticket
I hate the man

Lol damn the man maybe??:yes:

damn right, damn the man!
crazy po-po's......

did you really do that LMAO :D

LMFAO, nice joke

Ahahaha :D

I wish!!!!! Especially the last time I was pulled over. It happened like 2 months ago or something like that....Got a $104 damn ticket for doing a U-turn. Why can't PA be normal and legalize U-turns like every other damn state???? stupid cop!

Re: I wish I were this witty sometimes
 

hahahaha... omg thats great

my parents called the cops on me i think it was 2 nights ago and i knew the cop (got me introuble a lot of times) i told him to suck my dick twice lol :)

lol that joke was hillarious, i never pulled a prank on a cop but one time i got pulled over the cop took mine and my sisters liscences. she had been sleeping int he back and i wasnt supposed to be driving after midnight but when he came back from running his checks he gave me her liscence and told me to give mine to her he was all screwed up we dont even look that much alike but i was relieved

why PA police don't drive??

http://www.hpphoto.com/servlet/LinkP...4bce6950&size=
http://www.hpphoto.com/servlet/LinkP...2a7424fa&size=

lmfao

what a tool

So many things to be proud of in that sentence :rolleyes:

haha thats great

my $.02 exactly...really we are all glad you have turned out the way you did

Interstate 80 I think (the construction looks familiar).

Female driver, do you expect any less?

(puts on flame suit)

bet that made her day haha