Alright guys, this is my bored at work pic posting. (56k nono)
 

This is just cool.


This is just sad.


Heh.


Someone said something about a waterfall....I couldn't find it.



i liked this one.

LMAO those are great pics;)

One day, Mike Tyson and Don King were hanging out at
the Vatican. Mike was eating sunflower seeds and spitting
them out all over the floor.

Don tells Mike, "This is the Vatican man, you just can't be
doing stuff like that, brother."

Mike tells Don, "Fụck the Vatican, I don't give a sh!t. I'll
spit these damn seeds where ever I feel like it.

Don walks away saying to himself " I got to get away from
this ignorant muthafụcker."

Just then Don sees the Pope blessing Mike with the cross
of hand motion.

The Pope leaves and Don rushes over to Mike asking, "How
were you able to get a blessing from the Pope? He only
uses that for special circumstances.

Mike says, "He wasn't blessing me, he was saying:

(pointing at Mike's face) - "Hey you"

(pointing at the floor) - "Pick up those damn seeds"

(pointing to the left) - "Get that other nigga"

(pointing to the right) - "And get the fụck out"

Heres a how-to on showering. For the ladies and the guys.:

HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN:

1. Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.

2. Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see your husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.

3. Look at your womanly physique in the mirror -make mental note must do more sit-ups.

4. Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.

5. Wash your hair once with Cucumber and Sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.

6. Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.

7. Condition your hair with Grapefruit Mint conditioner enhanced with natural avocado oil. Leave on hair for 15 minutes.

8. Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.

9. Wash entire rest of body with Ginger Nut and Jaffa Cake body wash.

10. Rinse conditioner off hair (you must make sure that it has all come off).

11. Shave armpits & legs. Consider shaving bikini area but decide to get it waxed instead.

12. Scream loudly when your husband flushes the toilet and you lose the water pressure.

13. Turn off the shower.

14. Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower. Spray mold spots with Tilex.

15. Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. Wrap hair in super absorbent second towel.

16. Check entire body for the remotest sign of a zit, tweeze hairs.

17. Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown & towel on head.

18. If you see your husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.



HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:

1. Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.

2. Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see your wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo woo sound.

3. Look at your manly physique in the mirror & suck in your gut to see if you have pecs (no). Admire the size of your wiener in the mirror and scratch your a$$.

4. Get in the shower.

5. Don't bother to look for a washcloth (you don't use one).

6. Wash your face.

7. Wash your armpits.

8. Blow your nose in your hands, then let the water just rinse it off.

9. Crack up at how loud your fart sounds in the shower.

10. Majority of time is spent washing your privates and surrounding areas.

11. Wash your butt leaving those coarse butt hairs on soap bar.

12. Shampoo your hair (do not use conditioner).

13. Make a shampoo Mohawk.

14. Peek out of shower curtain to look at yourself in the mirror again.

15. Pee in the shower (men's version of Tilex).

16. Rinse off & get out of the shower. Fail to notice water on the floor because you left the curtain hanging out of the tub the whole time.

17. Partially dry off.

18. Look at yourself in the mirror, flex muscles, admire wiener size again.

19. Leave shower curtain open and wet bath mat on the floor.

20. Leave bathroom fan and light on.

21. Return to the bedroom with towel around your waist. If you pass your wife, pull off the towel, shake wiener at her, and make the woo woo sound again.

22. Throw wet towel on the bed.

LMAO that's even funier

Thanks! Heres some more!


I liked this one also.


Im thinking about getting one of these.




This is just wrong.


How about this poor guys job?


hehe

Alright this one will be my last one for a bit, i have SQL work to do:o



They sell plauqes of these, im thinking about getting a couple. Of this one and another one.


Not going to get this one.


kinda liked this one.


Liked this one also.


heh, this one also.

The best one I've heard about procrastination is this:

Procrastination is like masturbation, it may feel good while your doing it, but in the end, you're only effing yourself.

i heard it more like this: procrastination and masturbaion both feel great, but in the end you realized you just ****ed yourself

man only 3 replys? I give you guys like 50 funny pics!

Haha, I saved some of those pics.

BTW dingo, your girl is hot :yes: Have a better pic?

Thanks! thats what i was wanting to hear. Some opnions of the woman. She brought over a new bathing suit last night when we got into the hot tub. She was amazing. Ill get some better pics and throw them up there....

nice pics man, i also saved some of them

my best friends room mate had this up in their dorm last year

That's great, but you really need to determine how the bathing suit looks on the floor next to the hot tub.

We'll help you determine that, dingo! Pics? :D


Don't forget to make the woo woo sound.

b

lol wow those pictures were all great, and your girl is goodlookin from what you can see. I sent that shower deal to a bunch of people

just so you know people like you make life bearable

Thanks for the kind words Shardsofxapril. Ill get more pics of the woman tonight. Also when go back to work tomarrow i post a couple more pics (can't remeber the password to my webserver).

Just a little bump to keep humor in your guys lifes ;)

*cough*

lol those are funny:yes:

Well its been a while, so i thought i would throw some more up. BTW im haveing women problems with the new girl and the ex, so sadly no new pictures :(

anyway back to what i was going post.


You can see where the cat ranks :)



This is smart advertising.


LOL, i liked this one



I think this is my favorite. I got 2!



I tried to download the internet.....

This just plain cool. Do it! its well worth it.


This is pretty neat how it works out.
This is amazing SEX math!!!!!!!
DON'T CHEAT BY SCROLLING DOWN FIRST!
It only takes about a minute.......
Work this out as you read.

Be sure you don't read the bottom until you've worked it out! This is not one of those waste of time things, it's fun (& it's about sex).

First of all, pick the number of times a week that you would like to have sex .........(try for more than once but less than 10)

Multiply this number by 2 (Just to be bold)

Add 5. (for Friday Night)

Multiply it by 50 (being a bit stupid)


I'll wait while you get the calculator................


If you have already had your birthday this year add 1753....

If you haven't, add 1754 ..........

Now subtract the four digit year that you were born. (if you remember)

You should have a three digit number

The first digit of this was your original number (i.e., how many times you want to have sex each week).

The next two numbers are your age.

I was rolling when i read this. Its great.



Online computer users often engage in what is affectionately known as "Cybersex". Often the fantasies typed into keyboards and shared through Internet phone lines get pretty raunchy. However, as you'll see below, one of the two cyber-surfers in the following transcript of an online chat doesn't seem to quite get the point of Cybersex. Then again, maybe he does....

Wellhung: Hello, Sweetheart. What do you look like?

Sweetheart: I am wearing a red silk blouse, a miniskirt and high heels. I work out every day, I'm toned and perfect. My measurements are 36-24-36. What do you look like?

Wellhung: I'm 6'3" and about 250 pounds. I wear glasses and I have on a pair of blue sweat pants I just bought from Wal-Mart. I'm also wearing a T-shirt with a few spots of barbecue sauce on it from dinner. It's smells funny.

Sweetheart: I want you! Would you like to screw me?

Wellhung: OK

Sweetheart:< /B> We're in my bedroom. There's soft music playing on the stereo and candles on my dresser and night table. I'm looking up into your eyes, smiling. My hand works its way down to your crotch and begins to fondle your huge, swelling bulge.

Wellhung: I'm gulping, I'm beginning to sweat.

Sweetheart: I'm pulling up your shirt and kissing your chest.

Wellhung: Now I'm unbuttoning your blouse. My hands are trembling.

Sweetheart: I'm moaning softly.

Wellhung: I'm taking hold of your blouse and sliding it off slowly.

Sweetheart: I'm throwing my head back in pleasure. The cool silk slides off my warm skin. I'm rubbing your bulge faster, pulling and rubbing.

Wellhung: My hands suddenly jerks spastically and accidentally rips a hole in your blouse. I'm sorry.

Sweetheart: That's OK, it wasn't really too expensive.

Wellhung: I'll pay for it.

Sweetheart: Don't worry about it. I'm wearing a lacy black bra. My soft breasts are rising and falling, as I breath harder and harder.

Wellhung: I'm fumbling with the clasp on your bra. I think it's stuck. Do you have any scissors?

Sweetheart: I take your hand and kiss it softly...I'm reaching back undoing the clasp. The bra slides off my body. The air caresses my breasts. My nipples are erect for you.

Wellhung: How did you do that? I'm picking up the bra and inspecting the clasp.

Sweetheart: I'm arching my back. Oh baby. I just want to feel your tongue all over me.

Wellhung: I'm dropping the bra. Now I'm licking your, you know, breasts. They're neat!

Sweetheart: I'm running my fingers through your hair. Now I'm nibbling your ear.

Wellhung: I suddenly sneeze. Your breasts are covered with spit and phlegm.

Sweetheart: What?

Wellhung: I'm so sorry. Really.

Sweetheart: I'm wiping your phlegm off my breasts with the remains of my blouse.

Wellhung: I'm taking the sopping wet blouse from you. I drop it with a plop.

Sweetheart: OK. I'm pulling your sweat pants down and rubbing you hard tool.

Wellhung: I'm screaming like a woman. Your hands are cold! Yeeee!

Sweetheart: I'm pulling up my miniskirt. Take of my panties!

Wellhung: I'm pulling off your panties. My tongue is going all over, in and out nibbling on you... ummm... wait a minute.

Sweetheart: What's the matter?

Wellhung: I've got a pubic hair caught in my throat. I'm choking!

Sweetheart: Are you OK?

Wellhung: I'm having a coughing fit! I'm turning all red.

Sweetheart: Can I help?

Wellhung: I'm running to the kitchen, choking wildly. I'm fumbling through the cabinets, looking for a cup. Where do you keep your cups?

Sweetheart: In th e cabinet to the right of the sink.

Wellhung: I'm drinking a cup of water. There, that's better.

Sweetheart: Come back to me lover.

Wellhung: I'm washing the cup now.

Sweetheart: I'm on the bed arching for you.

Wellhung: I'm drying the cup. Now I'm putting it back in the cabinet. And now I'm walking back to the bedroom. Wait, it's dark, I'm lost. Where's the bedroom?

Sweetheart: Last door on the left at the end of the hall.

Wellhung: I found it.

Sweetheart: I'm tuggin' off your pants. I'm moaning. I want you so badly.

Wellhung: Me too.

Sweetheart: Your pants are off. I kiss you passionately our naked bodies pressing each other.

Wellhung: Your face is pushing my glasses into my face. It hurts.

Sweetheart: Why don't you take off your glasses?

Wellhung: OK, but I can't see very well without them. I place the glasses on the night table.

Sweetheart: I'm bending over the bed. Give it to me, baby!

Wellhung: I have to pee. I'm fumbling my way blindly across the room and toward the bathroom.

Sweetheart: Hurry back, lover!

Wellhung: I find the bathroom and it's dark. I'm feeling around for the toilet. I lift the lid.

Sweetheart: I'm waiting eagerly for your return.

Wellhung: I'm done going. I'm feeling around for the flush handle, but I can't find it. Uh-oh!

Sweetheart: What's the matter now?

Wellhung: I've realized that I've peed into your laundry hamper. Sorry again. I'm walking back to the bedroom now, blindly feeling my way.

Sweetheart: Mmmm, yes. Come on.

Wellhung: OK, now I'm going to put my...you know...thing...in your... you know...woman's thing.

Sweetheart: Yes! Do it, baby! Do it!

Wellhung: I'm touching your smooth butt. It feels so nice. I kiss your neck. Umm, I'm having a little trouble here.

Sweetheart: I'm moving my a$$ back and forth, moaning. I can't stand it another second! Slide in! Screw me now!

Wellhung: I'm flaccid.

Sweetheart: What?

Wellhung: I'm limp. I can't sustain an erection.

Sweetheart: I'm standing up and turning around, an incredulous look on my face.

Wellhung: I'm shrugging with a sad look on my face, my wiener is all floppy. I'm going to get my glasses and see what's wrong.

Sweetheart: No, never mind. I'm getting dressed. I'm putting on my underwear. Now I'm putting on my wet nasty blouse.

Wellhung: No wait! Now I'm squinting, trying to find the night table. I'm feeling along the dresser, knocking over cans of hair spray, picture frames and your candles.

Sweetheart: I'm buttoning my blouse. Now I'm putting on my shoes.

Wellhung: I've found m y glasses. I'm putting them on. My God! One of our candles fell on the curtain. The curtain is on fire! I'm pointing at it, a shocked look on my face.

Sweetheart: Go to hell! I'm logging off, you loser!

Wellhung: Now the carpet is on fire! Oh nooooo!

Sweetheart: Bye!!!

:D that was entertaining...thanks for the fun @ work dingo

Lol u really have nothing to do at work do u? heh nice pics but lets see the woman.

Ahaha that cyber sex thing had me rolling :D I think I've read it before but its still damn funny. So's the kitten holder :D

baby pix

...

my favorite one:

Thats pretty good thermial thermalfi'd16


As if this hasn't been played out enough, how about some Iraq/bush fotos!











here we see the iraqes moblizing their navy!



Here is the job I was considering applying for.



kinda weighs the voting, eh?


Heh

^^^ Lol

I thought i would bring this thread back because i found a few more pics.

lol ohhh my

LMAO JJ. the last ones are great

hehe, i remember this thread...