some more laughs
 

What's the best form of birth control after 50?
Nudity
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What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?
45 lbs.
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What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband?
45 minutes.
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What's the fastest way to a man's heart?
Through his chest with a sharp knife.
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Why do men want to marry virgins?
They can't stand criticism.
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Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good
looking?
Because those men already have boyfriends.
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What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?
After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.
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What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of
driving.
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What do you call a smart blonde?
A golden retriever.
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Why does the bride always wear white?
Because it's good for the dishwasher to match the stove and refrigerator.
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How do you know when you're really ugly?
Dogs hump your leg with their eyes closed.
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How do you know when you're leading a pathetic life?
When a nymphomaniac tells you, "Lets just be friends."
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Why did God create alcohol?
So ugly people could have sex, too.
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What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?
"Are you sure it's mine?"
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What's the difference between Beer Nuts and Deer Nuts?
Beer Nuts are $1, and Deer Nuts are always under a buck.
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What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other?
A speech impediment.
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Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
Breasts don't have eyes.
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What's the difference between a Northern fairytale and a Southern fairytale?
A Northern fairytale begins "Once upon a time." A Southern fairytale begins
"Y'all ain't gonna believe this shit."

ROFLMFAO!!!

Damn.. I had to knock the dust off of some of those jokes to read them.:o :D

Nice :yes:

LOL......

What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other?
A speech impediment.



That's too funny. I never heard that one.

Really? Never. I've definitely heard it a ton.

To quote Homer Jay Simpson:

"It's funny because it's true"

LMAO those are oldies but goodies :D :D :D

:D LOL those are great

Ok Ive never heard this..someone help me out...??????

Kelly~

that's older then

how do you give a redneck a circumcision??





kick his sister in the jaw

:D ...now that's messed up.

Italians talk a lot with their hands.

Good stuff. :yes: