Embarrassing stories
 

I wanna hear the most embarrasing story you guys have. I dont wanna see that bullshit "came out of the water with no suit on" cause everyone has one of them. I wanna hear the one about you were jerking off your little dog and your parents walked in.....btw my story was just told :paranoid:




j/k it was my cat.....:flick:

come on guys...i see people are looking but you sissies arent saying anything. I want the juiciest ones you got.

well seeing how there are 4-5 people. i doubt they can be that good.

thats 4-5 "oh my god i wanted to punch my self in the cock when it happened" stories to read. btw wheres yours??? :moon: :nana:

in a vault.

Alright you pussies...I'll post one. Probably not the most embarrassing thing that ever happened to me...but it was pretty embarrassing at the time.

The short story is...I farted during sex. And I don't mean a little squeaker or something. It was loud. Really loud.

The slightly longer version is that I was having sex with this chick (sorry Darin and Ben) and she was on top. She was going to town and bracing herself with her hands on my stomach. I guess she must have pressed too hard because before I even knew I was happening I ripped out a fart that would have been enviable had it not happened at that exact moment. We both laughed for about 5 solid minutes and eventually got back to it...but man, I was worried she'd wanna stop. It sucked.

I honestly can't really think of anything good. If something comes to mind I'll post up.

lol :bow: :bow:

The only thing I can think of for me is...My brother (Dingo) catching me getting a blow job at work. Now it may not sound bad but it really is. It was when our mother owned her own restraunt and he worked up here. It was an unusually slow day and this girl was really laying it on thick telling me of all the ways she can suck and fuck my brains out. after putting all our orders out we headed back by the big walk in cooler doorway which was right by the back door to the place. and I stood in the door way to watch for anyone that could walk down the hall or out the kitchen to our left and the back door to our right (mainly my ex or mother or other employee) and I figured I could hear any car or something pull up. Well shes on her knees going to town and backing up all her big talk when I hear this loud ass pounding on the back door ( no glass but like a clear plexi-glass material) and I turned and see Dingo standing with the biggest fucking smile on his face and laughing. Needless to see he totally killed my wood and we had to get back to work. Ten minutes go by and he walks back up to me smiling and messing with me....I easily could have died and been completely ok with it that day.

For future reference, change your brother to mother or ex.. Now that would make for a funny ass story. lol

i tailgated pretty hard durring one of our football games last season and afterwards i apparently met up with some girls from work and ended up at one of their houses(dont really remeber how i got there or why i wanted to go with them part). but i do remeber about 30 seconds of being butt ass naked screwing one of them on the couch in the living room, and i was wasted so it was a little sloppy you could say, and with a few of them watching none the less. i didnt want anything to do with the girl so it made for an interesting next few days at work. and they all love to gossip so i had to play it down until the smoke settled.

i probobly have better, but thats all i can think of right now.

how about this one.....

jacking off, playboy beside you, and you have a heart attack. I know i should joke but this truly happened. I found my father in his chair like this.(deceased) Talk about a unique experience!

The neighbor was the first person on scene, i still cant face her. not many people know the "true" cause of his death.

i got one more not as bad though..... last summer i was hammering a nail in and i hit my thumb, well i have a tendency to pass out with pain. And i ended up passing out in my garage and pissing myself! My dad was so flipped out, he was dialing 911 when i came to.

A heart attack while jerking off? Sounds just like that scene from Clerks. That'd be hilarious...if it didn't happen to your dad.

how bout this. it happened today. i was trying to fart my lung out my ass. which i accomplish but at the sametime i made my anus bleed.

No, it was probably your butt buddy Steve that made your anus bleed. :flick:

ohhhhh no it was not.

Whoa whoa whoa...just because Ben is a deviant-lifestyle-same-sex-having motherfucker doesn't mean you need to drag me down with him. :D

I was a guitar palyer in a band, in the late 80's..... yup, I'm old bitchees!!... We were the most controversial band in a catholic school since we played nuthin but heavy trash metal stuff.... so, naturally, everybody wanted to see us play.... In the middle of the fast part of Metallica's "ONE", the drummer hit one of the cymbals a little too hard and that focker fell on my head and nearly knock me out.... my band mates freakin stop playing in the middle of the song.... which made it more embarassing... I wish they kept playing to keep the attention off of me........

oops
 

Ok for some reason i have to clear my dads name...... autopsy came back.

He had been having a heart attack for DAYS. (he was probably undressing to get cool, no a/c and extremely high blood pressure will cause extreme sickness) and his heart literally burst! He was having a heart attack and never said anything to anyone.

UGH i miss him so much!

Wow, thats terrible.. ;(