richmclaren
09-03-2002, 11:19 PM
I'll start from the beginning: My ex was originally a friend of my brother's good friend. He in turn became friends with my brother and then friends with me. He's into cars and the same stuff all of us are into so we hung out a lot. ("We" meaning myself, my brother, and our tight group of friends.) Last semester, my ex and I studied for our midterm together and it was the first time either of us had spent time with the other without anyone else around. A little while after that, my brother told me, "Hey, [insert ex's name here] thinks you like him."
"Um...no. He's not really my type."
My brother said, "I know, that's what I told him."
About a week after that, we went out to dinner one night. (It was NOT a date, though he jokingly said, "Hey, this is just like a date.") At one point, I said, "I heard that you think I like you."
"Yeah," he replied.
"Why would you think that?" I asked.
"Because I sort of feel the same way." And then he went on about how he liked spending time with me and all this stuff. I didn't have the heart to tell him that I didn't want to be more than just friends, but I told him that it just wouldn't work. He didn't agree and pursued this thing for a month. Meanwhile, he was so sweet and nice to me and ALWAYS said the right things at the right times. I guess I just kind of fell for him, so one night, I just said, "Ok, I'll go out with you."
The very next day, he was cold and evasive. He didn't call me at all and just wanted to hang out with his friends. Three days into the "relationship," I called him and literally started off with "What the f*** is wrong with you?" He knew exactly what I was talking about and went on and on about how it was him and not me. He said his whole "mindset" changed once it sunk in that he had a girlfriend now (I was not his first, he was in a LONG relationship before me) and didn't want to feel "tied down." Apparently I tied him down after three days. There was a lot more that he said, but I won't get into it.
To this day, we're not the same friends as we used to be and won't ever. I'd understand if he was feeling insecure and came to talk to me, but he completely ignored me the SECOND after I told him "yes" and after I had repeatedly told him "no" for a month. I said he needed to grow up and be a man and all I got was, "I know, I know." I felt hurt and like something he just wanted to "conquer."
[Wow, this is long]
Anyway, one day pre-relationship/pre-breakup, I asked him what one thing his ex did to him that he just couldn't stand. (So I wouldn't make the same mistake.) He told me that he likes girls in skirts and after they broke up, she wore a skirt everyday just to spite him. I did that too, and he didn't like it very much. Do you think that was wrong of me?
"Um...no. He's not really my type."
My brother said, "I know, that's what I told him."
About a week after that, we went out to dinner one night. (It was NOT a date, though he jokingly said, "Hey, this is just like a date.") At one point, I said, "I heard that you think I like you."
"Yeah," he replied.
"Why would you think that?" I asked.
"Because I sort of feel the same way." And then he went on about how he liked spending time with me and all this stuff. I didn't have the heart to tell him that I didn't want to be more than just friends, but I told him that it just wouldn't work. He didn't agree and pursued this thing for a month. Meanwhile, he was so sweet and nice to me and ALWAYS said the right things at the right times. I guess I just kind of fell for him, so one night, I just said, "Ok, I'll go out with you."
The very next day, he was cold and evasive. He didn't call me at all and just wanted to hang out with his friends. Three days into the "relationship," I called him and literally started off with "What the f*** is wrong with you?" He knew exactly what I was talking about and went on and on about how it was him and not me. He said his whole "mindset" changed once it sunk in that he had a girlfriend now (I was not his first, he was in a LONG relationship before me) and didn't want to feel "tied down." Apparently I tied him down after three days. There was a lot more that he said, but I won't get into it.
To this day, we're not the same friends as we used to be and won't ever. I'd understand if he was feeling insecure and came to talk to me, but he completely ignored me the SECOND after I told him "yes" and after I had repeatedly told him "no" for a month. I said he needed to grow up and be a man and all I got was, "I know, I know." I felt hurt and like something he just wanted to "conquer."
[Wow, this is long]
Anyway, one day pre-relationship/pre-breakup, I asked him what one thing his ex did to him that he just couldn't stand. (So I wouldn't make the same mistake.) He told me that he likes girls in skirts and after they broke up, she wore a skirt everyday just to spite him. I did that too, and he didn't like it very much. Do you think that was wrong of me?