Girlfriends=confused

[Grip72]

Oh god. I am so damn confused right now. Ok well a bit of you probably know that i broke up with my gf of 1.5 years and then a week later we started goign out again. Anyways, things were going AWESOME the first 2 weeks of going out agian. Then we went to a stupid 'youth group' (it's a church thing for teens to hang out and play sports etc with a bible study thing, yada yada.) anyways, the youth group had a stupid discussion on relationships and now my "girlfriend" has completely changed her attitude towards me. She says she doesn't know if she wants to have sex anymore (we have been for a year now) and if she wants to be sexual anymore. She says she swears it has nothing to do with me and that she is still atrracted to me and everything. And also i try to hold her hand and hug and kiss her in public (not overly done) but like how normal 'couples" do right, and she says "I don't want to", "i don't feel like it" blah blah. Then later on she decides she wants to be affectionate and if i try saying no to her to give her a taste of her own medicine, she gets upset with me!! what the f*** is that about?? Damn women need some instruction manuals.

i think i just need to vent and i'm really tired

[DsBlu01CivEX]

Sounds to me like she just doesn't know what she wants. She's tryin to find out who she is and what she wants from life...and takin you along for a long bumpy ride.

[Grip72]

No..girls are just plain confusing..stupid mood swings..stupid everything

[xhondagirl]

i went through this with my boyfriend now of 3 years.. we were all "you know" and then out of know where i just wasnt in the mood as much.. i still love him and find him soo sexualy attractive, but it is just a thing...u guys r in your sexual peak from teh ages of 17-25 and us girls dont hit it till we r almost 30.. soo we will know how it feels then...
maybe she has been thinking about becoming pregnant or maybe contracting a diesease... its scary sometimes to be a girl.. her entire life could be ruined with one night..give her the benefit of the doubt , u didnt do anything worng.. try to talk to her about it...u dont always have to do it to have a good relationship..

[Whiteclipse99]

Originally posted by xhondagirl
...u dont always have to do it to have a good relationship..


Exactly! There's more to life then getting laid. If that's all you see in the relationship then you've got a lot to learn! Just give her some time and don't push anything, because that can be a real turn off.

[mt.biker]

is church a regular thing for both of you or just one of you?
has she gone on any different medication lately?

if she hasn't changed meds, and you still really care abuot her then dude (i know this is gonna sound harsh) but just let it pass without starting a fight with her. Talk to her about it yes, but dont get so worked up over it.

I'm personally becoming a believer of one strike and your out type of relationship, where if you break up stay broken up. though if your willing to give it a second or third or four chance just dont forget why it ended the first time. I know i'm bad about that and hope the 2nd or 3rd time around things will be different, but they never are.

My guess is the church thing has made her look at why she is having sex with you and until she comes to realize why, she wants to hold off on it until she knows for sure. It sounds too me something has spooked her and she maybe telling you the truth that it has nothing to do with the church group. Ever thought of just believing what shes saying?

but if you want to find out if shes playing with you, dont make any moves towards her, let her come to you. I know its playing with her but if you truly think she is messing with you then find out one way or another. be warned though this can go bad fast. and if it comes to this you have really poor communication, not recommened if you care about this girl.

[Grip72]

WEll we have been great friends for so long and we both konw we always will be. It's just such a great chemistry ya konw. ANyways, i talked to her today and she started saying she hates her life and it's all her and that she has changed towards everybody but towards me the most. She says the church thing just made her think about stuff and that maybe she doesn't think sexual stuff is such a great idea. THAT MAKES ME FEEL BAD. i told her that it made me feel like she regreted everything we've ever done. She swears she doesn't have regrets or that she doesn't not have any feelings anymore but she just needs time to think alot. And the thing is, SHE NEVER THINKS. I leave her alone for like 2 days straight to think and then i get an update and shes like oh,, i uh never thought about it cuz it makes me sad. But she's dumb and has to realize she needs to think about this because i am completely in the dark..AHAHAHFLKSDGKLdghaqklfdnalfjoaisv

[mt.biker]

shit bro thats worse then i thought. well maybe you can help her through it.. thats what your there for bro

[Grip72]

Ya i know. I mean I am there for her. I think she was mostly tired last night when we talked and grumpy. I told her that she HAS been having mood swings lately and i gave her examples of situations when she has. She was ok with that and told me that she realizes she has been different towards everyone in the last 2 weeks and to me especially. She says she doesn't really know what she wants. Now i have to go to school and see her today, i'm really nervous because i don't know what to expect really. I am guessing she will be upset still and really sad, but who knows. And it also sucks because grade 12 provincial exams are this week!!! AHAFKA this sucks so bad. Oh yeah, she also acts weird when she's mad at someone else.- We will be perfectly fine and not fighting and then her and a friend have a disagreement or someting so i try to hug her or comfort her to cheer her up (she does it to me and it helps :) ) and then she says "piss off" or something or "i don't want to touch you right now" and i'm thinking what the **** is her problem? i'm trying to cheer her up or help her and tell her i'm there for her and she gets mad at me...damn it woman...arakghadlkghadkfnad:paranoid: :no: :no: :crazy: :eek:

[DsBlu01CivEX]

Ugh i know you care for this girl a lot....but I really think the 2 of you need a break from each other. If she's tellin you to piss off when you're trying to comfort her or make her feel better then there is something wrong. The best thing for you to do right now is not run to her like it seems to me that you are. Go about your business. Hang out with your boys. Do your thing and let her do hers. If the 2 of you are meant to stay together than you will. She'll get out of her funk soon enough and realize what she wants. For your sake hope that when she gets out of her funk she still wants you as more than a best friend. I know all about the amazing chemistry thing....and it sucks when that person doesn't want to be with you in a romantic sense. But, ya move on and make yourself happy.

[Grip72]

Ya thanks...

[mt.biker]

dude from reading your last post i dont think theres much more to be said on this, has really it wasn't something you've done wrong. I think she needs space as d said.

your gf is confused and at our age (18ish) who isn't, granted some more then others; let her drift away for a bit to see if she comes back. If she doesn't its better to find out now then wait 4 months and then break up.

[Grip72]

I know what you're saying mtn biker...i know she likes me alot and i know i like her alot and she is acting so odd lately. today she is all over me and affectionate again..i don't get it...i just don't get it..whatever

[DsBlu01CivEX]

she's using you. She' keeps you around for when it's convenient for her. Are you seriously getting anything out of this relationship right now other than a confused mind and a broken heart? I don't mean to be harsh/blunt man...but I'm a girl. I'm pretty sure I know how a girls' mind works. Granted I'm not like this...but hey some girls just don't know how to handle things in the proper way.

[mt.biker]

Originally posted by Accord17
I know what you're saying mtn biker...i know she likes me alot and i know i like her alot and she is acting so odd lately. today she is all over me and affectionate again..i don't get it...i just don't get it..whatever
will you stay in the relationship if she doesn't want to have sex anymore?

you best figure out what you want in this relationship before you end it! i know how your feeling (not going to go into it) but trust me your gonna start holding something against her, think about how you treat her and be deliberate about things. dont let the relationship fade away because of the lack of sex.

maybe you should support her and not push things :0

[Grip72]

all i have to say is things are better...PLUS we had sex today;)

[mt.biker]

Originally posted by Accord17
all i have to say is things are better...PLUS we had sex today;)

arlight dude you sure its not better because you had sex, this sounds alot like the relationship i jsut got out of. everything was good when i was ****ing her but that soon wasn't enough.

[Whiteclipse99]

Originally posted by Accord17
all i have to say is things are better...PLUS we had sex today;)

Well, that's good to hear that things are better, I just hope that you guys aren't in a relationship just for the sex.

[mt.biker]

*cough cough*

[bootstrap]

haha, what a loser... just dump her sorry ass, one of you will do it soon enough anyway

[Platinum_Civic]

Let her do her own thing, and you do yours. If you two can't see eye to eye anymore then maybe it's time to end everything. Don't try to save something that can't be saved. You'll both end up getting hurt.