The joys and pains of being female....

[DsBlu01CivEX]

Yes, I did have my mammogram today...

For years and years they told me,
Be careful of your breasts.
Don't ever squeeze or bruise them.
And give them monthly tests.

So I heeded all their warnings,
And protected them by law.
Guarded them very carefully,
And I always wore my bra.

After 30 years of astute care,
My gyno, Dr. Pruitt,
Said I should get a Mammogram.
"O.K," I said, "let's do it."

"Stand up here real close" she said,
(She got my boob in line),
"And tell me when it hurts," she said,
"Ah yes! Right there, that's fine."

She stepped upon a pedal,
I could not believe my eyes!
A plastic plate came slamming down,
My hooter's in a vise!

My skin was stretched and mangled,
From underneath my chin.
My poor boob was being squashed,
To Swedish Pancake thin.

Excruciating pain I felt,
Within it's vise-like grip.
A prisoner in this vicious thing,
My poor defenseless tit!

"Take a deep breath" she said to me,
Who does she think she's kidding?!?
My chest is mashed in her machine,
And woozy I am getting.

"There, that's good," I heard her say,
(The room was slowly swaying.)
"Now, let's have a go at the other one."
Have mercy, I was praying.

It squeezed me from both up and down,
It squeezed me from both sides.
I'll bet SHE'S never had this done,
To HER tender little hide.

Next time that they make me do this,
I will request a blindfold.
I have no wish to see again,
My knockers getting steamrolled.

If I had no problem when I came in,
I surely have one now.
If there had been a cyst in there,
It would have gone "ker-pow!"

This machine was created by a man,
Of this, I have no doubt.
I'd like to stick his balls in there,
And see how THEY come out

[mylittlecivic]

I got that in a forward a long time ago:crazy:

[DsBlu01CivEX]

Yah i think i got it more than once....I don't quite know that pain yet...and I know that I don't want to know that pain!:eek: :crazy:

[Honda_Gurl]

that is why i am scared to death of going to the doctor!! :eek:

[94_AcCoRd_EX]

That sucks for you girls out there, but that poem was pretty funny ;)

[Honda_Gurl]

Originally posted by 94_AcCoRd_EX
That sucks for you girls out there, but that poem was pretty funny ;)

gosh you're so sympathetic :rolleyes:

just playing, actually it was pretty funny, but scary!!

[94_AcCoRd_EX]

Originally posted by Honda_Gurl
but scary!!

The part that scares me is the last couple of lines :eek: Ouch!!!

[DsBlu01CivEX]

Originally posted by Honda_Gurl
that is why i am scared to death of going to the doctor!! :eek:

You and me both girl!!!!

and Mt. Biker...I really don't think they actuallly disfigure...i mean all they are are fat and skin...neither material is very form keeping if ya know what i mean

[tightteg52]

one of the best things about bein a guythey dont put your nutsin a vice!! all we get is turn your head and cough!! hardest thing is make sure you dont go hard in a old mans hand! that would suck!!

[Honda_Gurl]

Originally posted by tightteg52
hardest thing is make sure you dont go hard in a old mans hand!

:pukey i just had a visual :paranoid:

[DsBlu01CivEX]

Originally posted by Honda_Gurl


:pukey i just had a visual :paranoid:

;( ;( ;( ME TOO!!!!;( ;( ;( :pukey

[tightteg52]

oh leave me alone!! All i know is i didn't go hard in his hand!! that woulda sucked!

[FeelMyRide]

Originally posted by tightteg52
hardest thing is make sure you dont go hard in a old mans hand! that would suck!!

Hold on.. I'm confused, so if you go hard in a young cute man doctor's hand its cool? ;)

[tightteg52]

Originally posted by FeelMyRide


Hold on.. I'm confused, so if you go hard in a young cute man doctor's hand its cool? ;)


SOB!! YES IT IS!!! wait hold on rewind NO thats bad too!!! god no!! goin hard in any mans hand is bad!!

[DsBlu01CivEX]

hahahah and FMR is back with a vengence!!!!


PS Welcome back Julie! ;)

[FeelMyRide]

I dont think they are going to like the idea of this at next week's Post-Whore Anonymous Meeting :) but thanx! Great to be back!!

[tightteg52]

welcome back!! no shes mean to me ima cry!;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;(

[FeelMyRide]

Originally posted by tightteg52
welcome back!! no shes mean to me ima cry!;(

Awwww come on.. you don't see me cry when u r mean to me, I just figured we were fighting like stoopid-sybling fights

[tightteg52]

Originally posted by FeelMyRide


Awwww come on.. you don't see me cry when u r mean to me, I just figured we were fighting like stoopid-sybling fights

oh ok thats kool *wipes tears* id still wip ya!!!;)

[DsBlu01CivEX]

yah but see I got FMR's back...and 2 chicks I'm sure could beat ya up. She's pretty fierce.;)

[tightteg52]

Originally posted by DsBlu01CivEX
yah but see I got FMR's back...and 2 chicks I'm sure could beat ya up. She's pretty fierce.;)

well now isn't this kinky you wantin a thresome!! im game if you two are!! hehe jfa! but im sure i could take you both!

[FeelMyRide]

Originally posted by tightteg52
well now isn't this kinky you wantin a thresome!! im game if you two are!! hehe jfa! but im sure i could take you both!


:eek: I'm willin to except the challenge LMAO

[DsBlu01CivEX]

Originally posted by tightteg52


well now isn't this kinky you wantin a thresome!! im game if you two are!! hehe jfa! but im sure i could take you both!

He's got quite a bit of confidence now doesn't he! haha
that reminds me of our HSO....man that seems like forever ago! He could possibly even be in our "area" for that to. It would have depended on how we drew the boundary lines

[FeelMyRide]

Originally posted by DsBlu01CivEX
He's got quite a bit of confidence now doesn't he! haha
that reminds me of our HSO....man that seems like forever ago! He could possibly even be in our "area" for that to. It would have depended on how we drew the boundary lines

hmmmmmmmmmm? he is east coast.. but thats your call!

[tightteg52]

bring it on then!! well meet in maryland a nice central state for us all!! or maybe pa!!

[DsBlu01CivEX]

Pa would be great for me!!! :D hehehe No real drivin time at all.....no where in pa takes me more than like 6 hrs to get to. And heck that's just a day trip to me!! TT you goin to HIN in Atlantic City in June?

[tightteg52]

Originally posted by DsBlu01CivEX
Pa would be great for me!!! :D hehehe No real drivin time at all.....no where in pa takes me more than like 6 hrs to get to. And heck that's just a day trip to me!! TT you goin to HIN in Atlantic City in June?

give me a time and date and im in!! i would love to go!!! how long of a drive is it from nc?

[DsBlu01CivEX]

i dunno go to www.mapquest.com and type in your address for starting directions and type in atlcantic city nj for the ending directions. That'll tell yah how long it'll take.

[tightteg52]

Originally posted by DsBlu01CivEX
i dunno go to www.mapquest.com and type in your address for starting directions and type in atlcantic city nj for the ending directions. That'll tell yah how long it'll take.

bah im lazy!! oh well ill just wing it!!!

[FeelMyRide]

SO are we all gonna play nicely at this meet or is it gonna be a rumble?

[tightteg52]

Originally posted by FeelMyRide
SO are we all gonna play nicely at this meet or is it gonna be a rumble?

ill be nice if you two are!!

[ebpda9]

LOL. so the idea of a HSO is back on ?