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View Full Version : Cops...and gettin out of speeding tickets

DsBlu01CivEX
03-19-2002, 10:08 PM
How to handle a speeding ticket!
(Now please understand, I am NOT suggesting you
do this, but .......... !! ;-)
A police officer pulls a guy over for speeding and has the following exchange: Officer: May I see your driver's license?
Driver: I don't have one. I had it suspended when I got my 5th DUI.
Officer: May I see the owner's card for this vehicle?
Driver: It's not my car. I stole it.
Officer: The car is stolen?
Driver: That's right. But come to think of it, I think I saw the owner's card in the glove box when I was putting my gun in there.
Officer: There's a gun in the glove box?
Driver: Yes sir. That's where I put it after I shot and killed the woman who owns this car and stuffed her in the trunk.
Officer: There's a BODY in the TRUNK?!?!?
Driver: Yes, sir. Hearing this, the officer immediately called his captain. The car was quickly surrounded by police, and the captain approached the driver to handle the tense situation:
Captain: Sir, can I see your license?
Driver: Sure. Here it is. It was valid.
Captain: Who's car is this? Driver: It's mine, officer. Here's the owner's card. The driver owned the car.
Captain: Could you slowly open your glove box so I can see if there's a gun in it? Driver: Yes, sir, but there's no gun in it. Sure enough, there was nothing in the glove box.
Captain: Would you mind opening your trunk? I was told you said there's a body in it.
Driver: No problem. Trunk is opened; no body.
Captain: I don't understand it. The officer who stopped you said you told him you didn't have a license, stole the car, had a gun in the glove box, and that there was a dead body in the trunk.
Driver: Yeah, I'll bet the lying s.o.b. told you I was speeding, too.
:bandit: :bandit: :bandit: :D :D :D
tightteg52
03-19-2002, 10:14 PM
Rotfflmfao!!! translation Rolling on the f'n floor laughin my f'n ass off!!!!!! that was great man!!! absolutley great!!! best on i've ever heard!!!!!!!!
alpine3069
03-19-2002, 10:16 PM
hmmm may be i will try that next time!! or maybe not!
4jacks
03-19-2002, 10:20 PM
Snickers has a radio commercial that starts out like that..
very funny !
DsBlu01CivEX
03-19-2002, 10:23 PM
I just wish I'd be able to pull that off with a straight face. I did get out of my last speeding ticket...somewhat. I really wanted to get me for DUI:rolleyes: ...but for once I hadn't drank that night (because I was driving). And probably cuz I barely had a shirt on. wink wink!! I was comin home from clubbin...and had my "club hooch" attire on.:eek:
DsBlu01CivEX
03-19-2002, 10:24 PM
sorry i fugged up...he really wanted to get me for a DUI....not I wanted to get myself for one...geez..... this is why we proofread things...my professors have taught me nothing in 4 yrs of college!!!!!!
4jacks
03-19-2002, 10:28 PM
:paranoid: :paranoid:
I've never gotten outa anything...
I got a ticket when this chic cob fly's by me, stops at the red light, and I slowly take the turn w/o stoping
Gotten a ticket for not having my headlights on from a cop who SCREAMED at me before i opened my mouth that I was "A Punk kid who drives around with only his bright fog lights"
Got pulled over for driving at night
Got pulled over for driving
Got pulled over for turning around
Got pulled over for driving around my neighborhood slowly in the middle of the day w/ my dad in the car when I had my learners permit... and I hit the curb when I pulled over..

Just thought I'd Share...
Racing Rice
03-20-2002, 12:21 PM
Ive heard that before.. Its a good one...

Maybe I need to find some hoochie wear..;) :D :paranoid:
94_AcCoRd_EX
03-20-2002, 12:34 PM
LMAO, I've heard that before, but its still funny :D
girlzgotcarz
03-20-2002, 03:16 PM
LMAO That is funny sheiot! Good one!
juvenile
03-20-2002, 04:07 PM
That joke is hillarious! :D
Originally posted by 4jacks
:paranoid: :paranoid:
I've never gotten outa anything...
I got a ticket when this chic cob fly's by me, stops at the red light, and I slowly take the turn w/o stoping
Gotten a ticket for not having my headlights on from a cop who SCREAMED at me before i opened my mouth that I was "A Punk kid who drives around with only his bright fog lights"
Got pulled over for driving at night
Got pulled over for driving
Got pulled over for turning around
Got pulled over for driving around my neighborhood slowly in the middle of the day w/ my dad in the car when I had my learners permit... and I hit the curb when I pulled over..

Just thought I'd Share...

Damn. In what period of time did this all happen? Like how was it since you got your learners permit? And where do you live again? :D
4jacks
03-20-2002, 06:30 PM
Well Its been about 5 years since I had my learners.. Haven't been pulled over since I've had my Civic... All that plus 2 speeding tickets all happened within the first 3 years of me driving.

I live in Maryland.. course All the times I've been pulled over was by city cops... BEL AIR cops ... they suck.

One time that I'm suprised I didn't get pulled over... A Bel-Air cop was stoped at a light waiting to turn left... I went right and was going home... and He bust a big old U and starts following me, He follows me for 3 miles, then I must a mad crazy turn about into this parking lot and get behind em... I followed him for like ten minutes, before I got bored and went home.
juvenile
03-20-2002, 10:08 PM
lol why did you do that?
tightteg52
03-20-2002, 10:49 PM
Originally posted by 4jacks
Well Its been about 5 years since I had my learners.. Haven't been pulled over since I've had my Civic... All that plus 2 speeding tickets all happened within the first 3 years of me driving.

I live in Maryland.. course All the times I've been pulled over was by city cops... BEL AIR cops ... they suck.

One time that I'm suprised I didn't get pulled over... A Bel-Air cop was stoped at a light waiting to turn left... I went right and was going home... and He bust a big old U and starts following me, He follows me for 3 miles, then I must a mad crazy turn about into this parking lot and get behind em... I followed him for like ten minutes, before I got bored and went home.

Dude you've got some serious issues!!!!!! that sounds like fun though i might try that one day when im bored!! hell maybe even saturday im off!! (if i get a ticket for this you DIE):cool: :bandit:
Maxvla
03-20-2002, 11:02 PM
funny.. funny. funny
Racing Rice
03-23-2002, 08:52 PM
Here this might help you out a little..

http://download.consumptionjunction.com/multimedia/cj_8443.asf

[Warning: contains vulgar language]
FeelMyRide
03-23-2002, 09:01 PM
Originally posted by DsBlu01CivEX
How to handle a speeding ticket!
(Now please understand, I am NOT suggesting you
do this, but .......... !! ;-)
A police officer pulls a guy over for speeding and has the following exchange: Officer: May I see your driver's license?
Driver: I don't have one. I had it suspended when I got my 5th DUI.
Officer: May I see the owner's card for this vehicle?
Driver: It's not my car. I stole it.
Officer: The car is stolen?
Driver: That's right. But come to think of it, I think I saw the owner's card in the glove box when I was putting my gun in there.
Officer: There's a gun in the glove box?
Driver: Yes sir. That's where I put it after I shot and killed the woman who owns this car and stuffed her in the trunk.
Officer: There's a BODY in the TRUNK?!?!?
Driver: Yes, sir. Hearing this, the officer immediately called his captain. The car was quickly surrounded by police, and the captain approached the driver to handle the tense situation:
Captain: Sir, can I see your license?
Driver: Sure. Here it is. It was valid.
Captain: Who's car is this? Driver: It's mine, officer. Here's the owner's card. The driver owned the car.
Captain: Could you slowly open your glove box so I can see if there's a gun in it? Driver: Yes, sir, but there's no gun in it. Sure enough, there was nothing in the glove box.
Captain: Would you mind opening your trunk? I was told you said there's a body in it.
Driver: No problem. Trunk is opened; no body.
Captain: I don't understand it. The officer who stopped you said you told him you didn't have a license, stole the car, had a gun in the glove box, and that there was a dead body in the trunk.
Driver: Yeah, I'll bet the lying s.o.b. told you I was speeding, too.
:bandit: :bandit: :bandit: :D :D :D

I need to memorize and use this one ASAP lmao
toykilla
03-23-2002, 10:01 PM
LOL, that was funniest shit ive ever read. I would love to try to do that to a cop but I doubt Id get passed the I stole the car without a gun in my face, in this ****ed up city I live in.

Ever wanted to have those damn sales people take your name off the list?? When they call, instead of hanging up, saying no thank you or listening to them ramble with no intention of buying.

You simply say, "OMG, havent you heard? He/She was killed in a car accident 2 days ago. I cant believe you calling after such a horrible event." Ive done it once but started laughing in the middle of it so I doubt it worked. =[