ChrisCantSkate
11-22-2005, 07:15 AM
> > For all of us who feel only the deepest love and affection for the
> > way
> > computers have enhanced our lives, read on.
> >
> > At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the
> > computer industry with the auto industry and stated, "If GM had
> > kept up
> > with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be
> > driving
> > $25.00 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon."
> >
> > In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press release
> > stating: If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would
> > all be
> > driving cars with the following characteristics (and I just love this
> > part):
> >
> >
> > 1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash twice a day.
> >
> >
> > 2. Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have
> > to buy a
> > new car.
> >
> >
> > 3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason.
> > You would
> > have to pull to the side of the road, close all of the windows,
> > shut off
> > the car, restart it, and reopen the windows before you could
> > continue. For
> > some reason you would simply accept this.
> >
> >
> > 4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would
> > cause your
> > car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would
> > have to
> > reinstall the engine.
> >
> >
> > 5. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was
> > reliable,
> > five times as fast and twice as easy to drive - but would run on
> > only five
> > percent of the roads.
> >
> >
> > 6. The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would
> > all be
> > replaced by a single "This Car Has Performed an Illegal Operation"
> > warning
> > light.
> >
> >
> > 7. The airbag system would ask "Are you sure?" before deploying.
> >
> >
> > 8. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you
> > out and
> > refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle,
> > turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.
> >
> >
> > 9. Every time a new car was introduced car buyers would have to
> > learn how
> > to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate
> > in the
> > same manner as the old car.
> >
> >
> > 10. You'd have to press the "Start" button to turn the engine off.
> > way
> > computers have enhanced our lives, read on.
> >
> > At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the
> > computer industry with the auto industry and stated, "If GM had
> > kept up
> > with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be
> > driving
> > $25.00 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon."
> >
> > In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press release
> > stating: If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would
> > all be
> > driving cars with the following characteristics (and I just love this
> > part):
> >
> >
> > 1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash twice a day.
> >
> >
> > 2. Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have
> > to buy a
> > new car.
> >
> >
> > 3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason.
> > You would
> > have to pull to the side of the road, close all of the windows,
> > shut off
> > the car, restart it, and reopen the windows before you could
> > continue. For
> > some reason you would simply accept this.
> >
> >
> > 4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would
> > cause your
> > car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would
> > have to
> > reinstall the engine.
> >
> >
> > 5. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was
> > reliable,
> > five times as fast and twice as easy to drive - but would run on
> > only five
> > percent of the roads.
> >
> >
> > 6. The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would
> > all be
> > replaced by a single "This Car Has Performed an Illegal Operation"
> > warning
> > light.
> >
> >
> > 7. The airbag system would ask "Are you sure?" before deploying.
> >
> >
> > 8. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you
> > out and
> > refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle,
> > turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.
> >
> >
> > 9. Every time a new car was introduced car buyers would have to
> > learn how
> > to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate
> > in the
> > same manner as the old car.
> >
> >
> > 10. You'd have to press the "Start" button to turn the engine off.