GT40FIED
09-17-2004, 07:24 PM
So many of you may be asking yourself what exactly my edicts will be once I rise to power as world ruler and dictator. Here's a sneak peak at my policies. Derek and Stefan may also make suggestions...they've had my back in my power struggle as would-be world ruler so they get first say. Will I listen? Maybe. The rest of your suggestions will be considered with slightly less urgency. Anyhow...onto my kick ass new laws:
1. Jesus is now a terrorist (posthumously). If you think about it, more people have killed and been killed in his name than argueably anyone else in history. Just think of the Crusades. Oh...and the children's Crusades. People who zealously follow him are generally dangerous and of a lesser intelligence. Besides...he was a little too willing to die for his beliefs. So guess what...now he's a terrorist.
2. Criminals have no rights. If you commit any sort of violent crime, you will have no rights. You will subjected to mandatory beatings and anyone who rapes you in jail will be considered for early release as they've done the public at large a favor. This courtesy will also be extended to white collar criminals of suitable violations. Who gets to decide that? You got it...me. Also, if you are injured while fleeing the police after a crime you will under no circumstances receive medical treatment. It will be saved for those who deserve it.
3. Hitler had the right idea, he was just an underachiever. No, I don't mean killing those of jewish decent. This has nothing to do with religion or ethnicity...although Mormons better make their peace right now. I mean kill everyone I deem to be unfit. Let's face it folks...this experiment called humanity has failed and it's time to start over. No more spawn of disease from the shallow end of the gene pool. I have personally become so disgusted with what humanity has been spewing out lately that I've decided that we, as a race, should be stopped by force. Don't like it? Tough.
4. Protesters protesting stupid shit will be fed to ferrets. Why ferrets? Think of how long it would take for a ferret to eat a human. Remember, civil disobedience is still disobedience and in certain instances should be treated as such. Who gets carte blanche to decide who has good ideas and who's got shitty ideas? Me baby...just me. You'll thank me later.
5. Your position on abortion is wrong. I don't care if it's pro-life or pro-choice. While you rant and rave and diatribe, one fact will escape 99.9% of people...it's not your fucking body. You will no longer have the opportunity to attempt to legislate what people do with their own bodies whether it be abortion or assisted suicide. Even I, as ruler, will be held to this standard. I will have no more right to tell you what to do with your body than you will to tell me in kind. Now sure, I can kill you without fear of retribution but I cannot decide whether or not you can vacuum out your unborn child. That way no one can blame me when and if they do some stupid shit.
Recent studies of people who are me find that 99.999% of this will go over well with the masses...except those who I select for extermination. Man...I am going to be such a kick ass leader.
Now...I offer you a chance to give feedback/addition opinions. Remember, they will all be taken under advisement and some may even be implemented. If they're not...tough fuck.
1. Jesus is now a terrorist (posthumously). If you think about it, more people have killed and been killed in his name than argueably anyone else in history. Just think of the Crusades. Oh...and the children's Crusades. People who zealously follow him are generally dangerous and of a lesser intelligence. Besides...he was a little too willing to die for his beliefs. So guess what...now he's a terrorist.
2. Criminals have no rights. If you commit any sort of violent crime, you will have no rights. You will subjected to mandatory beatings and anyone who rapes you in jail will be considered for early release as they've done the public at large a favor. This courtesy will also be extended to white collar criminals of suitable violations. Who gets to decide that? You got it...me. Also, if you are injured while fleeing the police after a crime you will under no circumstances receive medical treatment. It will be saved for those who deserve it.
3. Hitler had the right idea, he was just an underachiever. No, I don't mean killing those of jewish decent. This has nothing to do with religion or ethnicity...although Mormons better make their peace right now. I mean kill everyone I deem to be unfit. Let's face it folks...this experiment called humanity has failed and it's time to start over. No more spawn of disease from the shallow end of the gene pool. I have personally become so disgusted with what humanity has been spewing out lately that I've decided that we, as a race, should be stopped by force. Don't like it? Tough.
4. Protesters protesting stupid shit will be fed to ferrets. Why ferrets? Think of how long it would take for a ferret to eat a human. Remember, civil disobedience is still disobedience and in certain instances should be treated as such. Who gets carte blanche to decide who has good ideas and who's got shitty ideas? Me baby...just me. You'll thank me later.
5. Your position on abortion is wrong. I don't care if it's pro-life or pro-choice. While you rant and rave and diatribe, one fact will escape 99.9% of people...it's not your fucking body. You will no longer have the opportunity to attempt to legislate what people do with their own bodies whether it be abortion or assisted suicide. Even I, as ruler, will be held to this standard. I will have no more right to tell you what to do with your body than you will to tell me in kind. Now sure, I can kill you without fear of retribution but I cannot decide whether or not you can vacuum out your unborn child. That way no one can blame me when and if they do some stupid shit.
Recent studies of people who are me find that 99.999% of this will go over well with the masses...except those who I select for extermination. Man...I am going to be such a kick ass leader.
Now...I offer you a chance to give feedback/addition opinions. Remember, they will all be taken under advisement and some may even be implemented. If they're not...tough fuck.