biker's back
08-03-2004, 12:14 AM
So I’ve got two friends of mine that seem to be falling short of expectations.
Firstly, ever since I got my license and my car I was always the one doing more of the driving; expect for one winter when I cancelled my policy because I wasn’t going to be driving much. I had a decent job so paying for the gas we burned just cruising around town didn’t bother me. I figured my friends would, in time, catch up. Well it hasn’t happened yet!
So this year is my first summer without a car, fortunately my gf has a car so we can still goto the beach. Well it just so happens that whenever we go no one seems to be able to get their own cars to go. One’s is his fathers and he just can’t have it and the other drives a car that is questionable at those distances. So my gf and I footed the bill the first couple times, but the situation never changed. So I said “ok guys from now on we’re sharing the bill on these long trips”; remember this does not include all the Friday and Saturday nights we drive them and pay for parking when we go out. So they start paying.
Now you think this would be ok, but something really erked me today. One of them was able to drive, first time to the beach in AGES. My gf and I buy him lunch to say THANK YOU for finally driving. But when we get back the bill is like $34 and he asked ‘how can we split this 3 ways?’, just so happens neither she nor I have any more cash on us so we can’t pay him.
The moment we get out of the car she knows it’s bugging me and this particular person has gone on dozens of $50-$60 bike trips (that’s just the gas) and I never once asked him to help out. SO I feel like I’m being taken advantage up. Let me sum up the points
1. many bike trips worth 300-600$ in gas I spent
2. many beach trips never asked for money
3. more recently I changed that because people aren’t stepping up
That’s one issue with one friend, and here’s another that spans one or more of them.
I used to have BBQ’s at my place a few times a summer, I’d invite some good friends and treat them to drinks and food on me. The idea was they would return the favour, but they never did, nor did anyone try to help me out AT ALL. So this summer I decided to say, ok I’ll bring the burgers, provide the place and music; just bring the rest. So one guy brings like $4 in buns and the others carry their share in booze and so on.
Next month the cheap dude ($4) holds his first BBQ and invites myself and my gf. On the way over there from up north a friend calls me to tell me it’s going to be $15/each to go. I almost flipped out. Anywho, so we get there and he has the nerve to ask me for money. I say “You know, I think you owe me for all the BBQ’s I’ve held” and in the end he says ‘we’re even’. Well I’ll tell you what I had one burger, and that doesn’t come close to the dozens of booze and burgers you’ve had at my place.
This guy also always seems to an issue with my gf, either he likes her and is burning up inside why he can’t have her or he’s into me. But there can’t be an evening that goes by where he doesn’t say something stupid about how he can drink more then her or something degrading towards her. It shows a total lack of respect for her and me and I’ve told my gf that the next time it happens she’ll need to get some of the guys to pull me off him because I’ll rip him apart. This lack of respect which he may or may not know he has is the reason he’s never had a gf.
These same two guys of late, are not the ones to make plans and every time I go out with them it seems like I’m getting ripped off with the bills. It’s so bad I get separate bills, how sad is that?
This same cheap guy’s birthday came up recently, and we all decide to buy him a game system (forget what we go, but its sweet) we got him a game and a second controller so he doesn’t have to. It’s the nicest gift the group of us has ever given and it’s the first time we’ve pooled our resources to get a kick ass gift. So I haven’t see or heard from him for 2-3 weeks and it wasn’t until tonight when I invited myself, gf and the second dude over that I’ve seen him. He was doing nothing.
One of these guys I’ve known all my life and the other one I’ve had his back since we met.
Sum it up: I have two friends who are really screwing things up. Every time we do something with them I’m paying for it either in cash or the time we waste making it work for them. On top of that one of them is being very disrespectful towards me gf and I. I’m noticing that the relationship is deterating and after talking with some other friends I’m about to say screw it, however I’ve known these guys for too long just to say that. It also didn't always used to be like this.
You’re thoughts? To keep them as friends or not?
Firstly, ever since I got my license and my car I was always the one doing more of the driving; expect for one winter when I cancelled my policy because I wasn’t going to be driving much. I had a decent job so paying for the gas we burned just cruising around town didn’t bother me. I figured my friends would, in time, catch up. Well it hasn’t happened yet!
So this year is my first summer without a car, fortunately my gf has a car so we can still goto the beach. Well it just so happens that whenever we go no one seems to be able to get their own cars to go. One’s is his fathers and he just can’t have it and the other drives a car that is questionable at those distances. So my gf and I footed the bill the first couple times, but the situation never changed. So I said “ok guys from now on we’re sharing the bill on these long trips”; remember this does not include all the Friday and Saturday nights we drive them and pay for parking when we go out. So they start paying.
Now you think this would be ok, but something really erked me today. One of them was able to drive, first time to the beach in AGES. My gf and I buy him lunch to say THANK YOU for finally driving. But when we get back the bill is like $34 and he asked ‘how can we split this 3 ways?’, just so happens neither she nor I have any more cash on us so we can’t pay him.
The moment we get out of the car she knows it’s bugging me and this particular person has gone on dozens of $50-$60 bike trips (that’s just the gas) and I never once asked him to help out. SO I feel like I’m being taken advantage up. Let me sum up the points
1. many bike trips worth 300-600$ in gas I spent
2. many beach trips never asked for money
3. more recently I changed that because people aren’t stepping up
That’s one issue with one friend, and here’s another that spans one or more of them.
I used to have BBQ’s at my place a few times a summer, I’d invite some good friends and treat them to drinks and food on me. The idea was they would return the favour, but they never did, nor did anyone try to help me out AT ALL. So this summer I decided to say, ok I’ll bring the burgers, provide the place and music; just bring the rest. So one guy brings like $4 in buns and the others carry their share in booze and so on.
Next month the cheap dude ($4) holds his first BBQ and invites myself and my gf. On the way over there from up north a friend calls me to tell me it’s going to be $15/each to go. I almost flipped out. Anywho, so we get there and he has the nerve to ask me for money. I say “You know, I think you owe me for all the BBQ’s I’ve held” and in the end he says ‘we’re even’. Well I’ll tell you what I had one burger, and that doesn’t come close to the dozens of booze and burgers you’ve had at my place.
This guy also always seems to an issue with my gf, either he likes her and is burning up inside why he can’t have her or he’s into me. But there can’t be an evening that goes by where he doesn’t say something stupid about how he can drink more then her or something degrading towards her. It shows a total lack of respect for her and me and I’ve told my gf that the next time it happens she’ll need to get some of the guys to pull me off him because I’ll rip him apart. This lack of respect which he may or may not know he has is the reason he’s never had a gf.
These same two guys of late, are not the ones to make plans and every time I go out with them it seems like I’m getting ripped off with the bills. It’s so bad I get separate bills, how sad is that?
This same cheap guy’s birthday came up recently, and we all decide to buy him a game system (forget what we go, but its sweet) we got him a game and a second controller so he doesn’t have to. It’s the nicest gift the group of us has ever given and it’s the first time we’ve pooled our resources to get a kick ass gift. So I haven’t see or heard from him for 2-3 weeks and it wasn’t until tonight when I invited myself, gf and the second dude over that I’ve seen him. He was doing nothing.
One of these guys I’ve known all my life and the other one I’ve had his back since we met.
Sum it up: I have two friends who are really screwing things up. Every time we do something with them I’m paying for it either in cash or the time we waste making it work for them. On top of that one of them is being very disrespectful towards me gf and I. I’m noticing that the relationship is deterating and after talking with some other friends I’m about to say screw it, however I’ve known these guys for too long just to say that. It also didn't always used to be like this.
You’re thoughts? To keep them as friends or not?