ebpda9
06-05-2003, 10:01 PM
> If being chased through town, you can usually take cover in a passing
> St. Patrick's Day parade - at any time of the year.
>
> All beds have special L-shaped cover sheets which reach up to the armpit
> level on a woman but only to waist level on the man lying beside her.
>
> It's easy for anyone to land a plane providing there is someone in the
> control tower to talk you down.
>
> The ventilation system of any building is the perfect hiding place. No
> one will ever think of looking for you in there and you can travel to
> any other part of the building you want without difficulty.
>
> A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating but will
> wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds.
>
> Interbreeding is genetically possible with any creature from elsewhere
> in the universe.
>
> Kitchens don't have light switches. When entering a kitchen at night,
> you should open the fridge door and use that light instead.
>
> If staying in a haunted house, women should investigate any strange
> noises in their most revealing underwear.
>
> Mothers routinely cook eggs, bacon and waffles for their family every
> morning even though their husband and children never have time to eat
> it.
>
> Cars that crash will almost always burst into flames.
>
> Medieval peasants had perfect teeth.
>
> Any person waking from a nightmare will sit bolt upright and pant.
>
> It is not necessary to say hello or good-bye when beginning or ending
> phone conversations.
>
> All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red
> readouts so you know exactly when they're going to go off.
>
> A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty.
>
> It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving
> martial arts - your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one
> by dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out
> their predecessors.
they were too good not to share ;)
> St. Patrick's Day parade - at any time of the year.
>
> All beds have special L-shaped cover sheets which reach up to the armpit
> level on a woman but only to waist level on the man lying beside her.
>
> It's easy for anyone to land a plane providing there is someone in the
> control tower to talk you down.
>
> The ventilation system of any building is the perfect hiding place. No
> one will ever think of looking for you in there and you can travel to
> any other part of the building you want without difficulty.
>
> A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating but will
> wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds.
>
> Interbreeding is genetically possible with any creature from elsewhere
> in the universe.
>
> Kitchens don't have light switches. When entering a kitchen at night,
> you should open the fridge door and use that light instead.
>
> If staying in a haunted house, women should investigate any strange
> noises in their most revealing underwear.
>
> Mothers routinely cook eggs, bacon and waffles for their family every
> morning even though their husband and children never have time to eat
> it.
>
> Cars that crash will almost always burst into flames.
>
> Medieval peasants had perfect teeth.
>
> Any person waking from a nightmare will sit bolt upright and pant.
>
> It is not necessary to say hello or good-bye when beginning or ending
> phone conversations.
>
> All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red
> readouts so you know exactly when they're going to go off.
>
> A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty.
>
> It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving
> martial arts - your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one
> by dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out
> their predecessors.
they were too good not to share ;)