SolPol
06-05-2003, 10:36 AM
Someone sent this to my email. Twisted.
This is even funnier when you realize it's real! Next time you have a bad
> > day at work...think of this guy. Rob is a commercial saturation diver for
> > Global Divers in Louisiana. He performs underwater repairs on offshore
> > drilling rigs. Below is an E-mail he sent to his sister. She then sent it
> > to radio station 103.2 FM in Ft. Wayne, Indiana, who was sponsoring a
> > worst job experience contest. Needless to say, she won.
> >
> > "Hi Sue,
> >
> > Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother. Last week I had a
>bad
> > day at the office. I know you've been feeling down lately at work, so I
> > thought I would share my dilemma with you to make you realize it's not so
> > bad after all. Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first must
> > bore you with a few technicalities of my job. As you know, my office lies
> > at the bottom of the sea. I wear a suit to the office. It's a wetsuit.
> > This time of year the water is quite cool. So what we do to keep warm is
> > this: We have a diesel powered industrial water heater. This $20,000
>piece
> > of equipment sucks the water out of the sea. It heats it to a delightful
> > temperature. It then pumps it down to the diver through a garden hose,
> > which is taped to the air hose.
> >
> > Now this sounds like a darn good plan, and I've used it several times
>with
> > no complaints. What I do, when I get to the bottom and start working, is
> > take the hose and stuff it down the back of my wetsuit. This floods my
> > whole suit with warm water. It's like working in a Jacuzzi. Everything
>was
> > going well until all of a sudden, my butt started to itch. So, of course,
> > I scratched it. This only made things worse. Within a few seconds my butt
> > started to burn. I pulled the hose out from my back, but the damage was
> > done. In agony I realized what had happened. The hot water machine had
> > sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into my suit. Now, since I don't have
> > any hair on my back, the jellyfish couldn't stick to it.
> >
> > However, the crack of my butt was not as fortunate. When I scratched what
> > I thought was an itch, I was actually grinding the jellyfish into the
> > crack of my butt. I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the
> > communicator. His instructions were unclear due to the fact that he,
>along
> > with five other divers, were all laughing hysterically. Needless to say I
> > aborted the dive. I was instructed to make three agonizing in-water
> > decompression stops totaling thirty-five minutes before I could reach the
> > surface to begin my chamber dry decompression. When I arrived at the
> > surface, I was wearing nothing but my brass helmet. As I climbed out of
> > the water, the medic, with tears of laughter running down his face,
>handed
> > me a tube of cream and told me to rub it on my butt as soon as I got in
> > the chamber. The cream put the fire out, but I couldn't poop for two days
> > because my butt was swollen shut. So, next time you're having a bad day
>at
> > work, think about how much worse it would be if you had a jellyfish
>shoved
> > up your butt.
> >
> > Now repeat to yourself, I love my job, I love my job, I love my job."
Now, personally I don't think it's real, because there is no radio station 103.2 on the dial. But whatever, it's funny in a twisted way.
This is even funnier when you realize it's real! Next time you have a bad
> > day at work...think of this guy. Rob is a commercial saturation diver for
> > Global Divers in Louisiana. He performs underwater repairs on offshore
> > drilling rigs. Below is an E-mail he sent to his sister. She then sent it
> > to radio station 103.2 FM in Ft. Wayne, Indiana, who was sponsoring a
> > worst job experience contest. Needless to say, she won.
> >
> > "Hi Sue,
> >
> > Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother. Last week I had a
>bad
> > day at the office. I know you've been feeling down lately at work, so I
> > thought I would share my dilemma with you to make you realize it's not so
> > bad after all. Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first must
> > bore you with a few technicalities of my job. As you know, my office lies
> > at the bottom of the sea. I wear a suit to the office. It's a wetsuit.
> > This time of year the water is quite cool. So what we do to keep warm is
> > this: We have a diesel powered industrial water heater. This $20,000
>piece
> > of equipment sucks the water out of the sea. It heats it to a delightful
> > temperature. It then pumps it down to the diver through a garden hose,
> > which is taped to the air hose.
> >
> > Now this sounds like a darn good plan, and I've used it several times
>with
> > no complaints. What I do, when I get to the bottom and start working, is
> > take the hose and stuff it down the back of my wetsuit. This floods my
> > whole suit with warm water. It's like working in a Jacuzzi. Everything
>was
> > going well until all of a sudden, my butt started to itch. So, of course,
> > I scratched it. This only made things worse. Within a few seconds my butt
> > started to burn. I pulled the hose out from my back, but the damage was
> > done. In agony I realized what had happened. The hot water machine had
> > sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into my suit. Now, since I don't have
> > any hair on my back, the jellyfish couldn't stick to it.
> >
> > However, the crack of my butt was not as fortunate. When I scratched what
> > I thought was an itch, I was actually grinding the jellyfish into the
> > crack of my butt. I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the
> > communicator. His instructions were unclear due to the fact that he,
>along
> > with five other divers, were all laughing hysterically. Needless to say I
> > aborted the dive. I was instructed to make three agonizing in-water
> > decompression stops totaling thirty-five minutes before I could reach the
> > surface to begin my chamber dry decompression. When I arrived at the
> > surface, I was wearing nothing but my brass helmet. As I climbed out of
> > the water, the medic, with tears of laughter running down his face,
>handed
> > me a tube of cream and told me to rub it on my butt as soon as I got in
> > the chamber. The cream put the fire out, but I couldn't poop for two days
> > because my butt was swollen shut. So, next time you're having a bad day
>at
> > work, think about how much worse it would be if you had a jellyfish
>shoved
> > up your butt.
> >
> > Now repeat to yourself, I love my job, I love my job, I love my job."
Now, personally I don't think it's real, because there is no radio station 103.2 on the dial. But whatever, it's funny in a twisted way.