Distance

[GirlRacer]

Ok guys. Lend me your hands here. In a relationship-what distance do you think you deal with and not worry about your other person.

I.E.-I could handle someone 3-45 minutes away... but more than that, I think would wear on me after awhile. Not saying it COULD NOT be done, it'd just get kind've complicated after awhile.

What do you guys think?:confused:

[mylittlecivic]

my b/f lives 4 hours away right now i only get to see him about once a month, and in august he'll be moving over 2,000 miles away, and ill only get to see him summer and winter breaks, but I think we'll deal.

[mt.biker]

It really comes down to the maturity of the people you're dealing with. But the bigger problem is the strength of the relationship you have, there needs to be alot of trust and respect for anything considered long distance to work. Otherwise you just end up fighting because you're both hurtting over the fact you cant see eachother and are tired of talking on the phone.

Something else to consider is how the relationship was started, if it was started at a distance I wouldn't bohter. If this guy you're refering to lived close and now has moved further away, it will come down to how interested in him you are.

Personally travel time would be a big downer, if i had to drive 2 hours to see my gf. Maybe an hour tops now that I really think about it, because thats 2 hours of 'driving to see her' and thats alot if you want to see her a few times a week. 2 hour drive for 3-4 hours at her place seems a little out of balance to me. Maybe if she also drove the distance and I could trust her, maybe i could deal with more.

Theres a few bucks for ya..

[DumbMoFo]

For every person it is different.

My gf and I made it work when she was doing her study abroad semester in Europe and I was here in the states. It was rough, particularly because I didn't have a schedule conducive to getting there to see her, but we made it through. However, not everyone will, and there are plenty of instances of those who fail while trying.

There are others I know who anything more than a half-hour is too much.

Ultimately, a lot of it is about maturity and how you really value the relationship.

(for what it's worth, she called it quits 9 months after she returned because she couldn't deal with a 4 hour drive when she had an additional semester of school left and I had graduated).

[GirlRacer]

Specifically here, I'm referring to like... a 2 hour drive to spend maybe 2-3 out of 4 weekends a month together...

Would that wear thin on you guys?

[mt.biker]

Originally posted by GirlRacer
Specifically here, I'm referring to like... a 2 hour drive to spend maybe 2-3 out of 4 weekends a month together...

Would that wear thin on you guys?

yes

[Kyle]

depends on who i'd be making that drive for...

[ohiochica]

2 hours? i could easily deal with 2 hours.......hell for teh right guy i could deal with 2 days.

[mt.biker]

Originally posted by ohiochica
2 hours? i could easily deal with 2 hours.......hell for teh right guy i could deal with 2 days.

Have you done a long distance relationship?

The reason I ask is alot of people always say they're able to do it. But very few long distance relationships work out because for a relationship are complicated and distance just adds something else to deal with. Dont take this as a personal bash because thats not how I mean it, but i'm sure it'll be spun like that the moment you read it.

I'm getting at the fact so many say they could do distance but until they've tired they never know...

[mylittlecivic]

2 hours i drive that like every week for the heck of it you guys are being pussys

[Shot 2 Hel]

my friend's g/f lives about an hour away from him, and they seem to be doing OK. But i guess here in MS everything is spaced out like that. so i dunno. Might depend on the area of where you are too. But i dunno if i could do 2 hours. Cause thats 4 hours driving for MAYBE 3 hours.

[imports_only98]

if he's only 2 hours away i say go for it. any major distance is pointless. believe me...i know.

[Racing Rice]

It really depends on the circumstances too.

If its someone that youve been dating for a while, and you are serious with that goes away to college, etc. Since its something thats only temporary it would probably work out okay.

But if its someone you met on Spring break, that you dont really know to well and you have to drive 2 or 3 hours to see. I think it would get old, and probably not work out to well.

[Shot 2 Hel]

^^^good point

[GirlRacer]

:yes: That IS a good point, and actually the point I was basing this question around... yasee... I have someone wanting to date me about 2 hours from here, that could only have time for 2, maybe 3 weekends out of 4 to spend time with me.

I'm thinking:no: I need more time than that. With only THAT much time, I risk getting bored and doing something I shouldn't.:paranoid:

[Smokd187]

2 hours didn't work for me. I didn't have a car and she did. She never wanted to drive up cause her parents wouldnt let her. She was immature I was trying to live on my own. We fought, but whatever works. It was completely her fault for not being reasonable

[zm_dawg]

why even start this relationship if your already saying you'll do something you shouldn't....obviously can't trust you.....and why put anyone through it....you say you'd be bored after a week or so...but in reality it'll be days.....

[GirlRacer]

Um, hello? I'm not starting it. The question was, should I or shouldn't I...

[mt.biker]

Originally posted by GirlRacer
Um, hello? I'm not starting it. The question was, should I or shouldn't I...
I think he just TOLD you not to bother....

[zm_dawg]

um...hello.....the first line.....=....."why even start this"

[mt.biker]

Originally posted by zm_dawg
um...hello.....the first line.....=....."why even start this"

its the reading thing, cut her some slack... haha

[nonovurbizniz]

Originally posted by zm_dawg
why even start this relationship if your already saying you'll do something you shouldn't....obviously can't trust you.....and why put anyone through it....you say you'd be bored after a week or so...but in reality it'll be days.....

ya apparently that's not a strong suit

[Racing Rice]

Take it easy guys. :rolleyes:

[Racing Rice]

Originally posted by GirlRacer

I'm thinking:no: I need more time than that. With only THAT much time, I risk getting bored and doing something I shouldn't.:paranoid:

I wouldnt want to date someone and be exculive with them if Im only going to see them a couple times a month, seems kinda like a waste of time to me. You probably wont be doing anything but holding each other down.

You wont really have the time you need to get to know the person well. :no:

[GirlRacer]

Originally posted by Racing Rice
Take it easy guys. :rolleyes:

Thank you. I was trying to ignore it...:no:

And ya, I talked to this guy again last night and he says that he could move up here in a year. He's in college in his town right now which is what's holding him there...but there's a finishing school for his degree here in my town that he could go to in 1 year...

I don't know if this puts a twist on anything but...a year is a LOOOOONG time!

[Racing Rice]

Why not try to stay friends for a year and see what happens in a year. I dont see much reason or sense to put life on pause for a possibility.

[mt.biker]

get to know him better, 3times a month isnt bad, geez soo many people have to rush

[mt.biker]

I'll add, i've become interested in a girl thats 30min away via highway about 30miles, which i can probably get down to 15-20min depending on traffic. I think it might be a problem if say we were to get together for an hour and then have to go our own ways. But if we get together for an evening or an afternoon it aint a problem for me. Just looks like i'll be driving most of the time, cause she doesnt like driving into the city...

[nonovurbizniz]

LD relationships suck... I wouldn't even bother...

especially considering you're already thinking it's too far you won't be able to see him enough...

You obviously KNOW you shouldn't so... I think you've answered the Q yourself.

[SolPol]

I think he's got ya there.

[zm_dawg]

You already answered it when you mentioned you'll end up doing something you shouldn't....if you don't see'em often

[mt.biker]

Originally posted by SolPol
I think he's got ya there.

was got when forgot how to read...

[SolPol]

Originally posted by mt.biker
was got when forgot how to read...

What?

[mt.biker]

dam that was horrible typing on my part (sorry i can't edited the f uckers any more)

well i was gonna say "she was GOT when she forgot how to read" shes always telling people how to read but cant take her own advice.

[SolPol]

Yeah, ya know I saw that earlier in the thread and was gonna say something, but I kept my mouth shut (something new and different for me).

[mt.biker]

Originally posted by SolPol
Yeah, ya know I saw that earlier in the thread and was gonna say something, but I kept my mouth shut (something new and different for me).

why bother dude? If i feel like speaking i speak up, I rarely bite my tongue, and for a b!tchy female it just aint happening.

[SolPol]

I think it was more the, I'm at work and I'm busy thing, than it was anything else. Wasn't a pressing concern. Trust me, I speak up when I want. I'm a pro.

[mt.biker]

Originally posted by SolPol
I think it was more the, I'm at work and I'm busy thing, than it was anything else. Wasn't a pressing concern. Trust me, I speak up when I want. I'm a pro.
haha ok i'll let it slide this time... but only this time.. jokes

[SolPol]

Thanks for the pass :)

[Racing Rice]

If you guys want to talk amoungst yourself send a PM. Please try to keep on topic. :rolleyes:

[SolPol]

Uhhhh.....LD relationships hardly ever work. Particularly ones that start out that way.

[Lovebuzz13]

If you love the person enough, you can make it work.

I'm moving to Richmond, VA in 2 months for my bf. We have a mutual friend who introduced us, we talked a lot, then me and my friend took a road trip there for some car stuff, and I met Jesse.

Things went unbelievably amazing. He's 12 hours away. It sucks. We talk for a few hours everday, and I trust he's not doing anything with anyone, and he trusts me. I have no reason not to trust him, he loves me, and if he didn't we wouldn't be going back and forth between Orlando and Richmond every few weeks.

But I'll be there in like 2 or 3 months, and hopefully everything works out. I'm pretty sure it will.

So the long distance thing can work if it's two devoted people doing it.

[SolPol]

Damn, good for you. More power to ya.

[GirlRacer]

That is good, but see, this is a beginning thing, no love involved yet...:no:

[ohiochica]

quinn stop worrying! just go with the flow.

[GirlRacer]

YAY! Still here!:yes:

I will, I do like this person, I'm going to keep talking to him and see what happens I think.:|

[zm_dawg]

remind'em to: group letters together while sounding'em out....it's called reading.....or whatever your on everyone's (_|_) about

[Lovebuzz13]

Originally posted by GirlRacer
That is good, but see, this is a beginning thing, no love involved yet...:no:

I decided to move before love was involved.

Well...before stated. I knew as soon as I met him that I'd fall in love with him and want to marry him.

[DsBlu01CivEX]

yah Quin don't sweat the small stuff like a LD....just startin out you cant really have a serious relationship right off the bat (trust me...every relationship i've had sorta started in a rush and we didn't do the dating thing and look at that...i'm still single). Like becky said go with the flow and if it works out, it works out....if it doesn't, it doesn't. There's always more fish in the sea...

[GirlRacer]

Originally posted by Lovebuzz13
I decided to move before love was involved.

Well...before stated. I knew as soon as I met him that I'd fall in love with him and want to marry him.

How did this turn out Lauren?:confused: