DsBlu01CivEX
02-19-2003, 08:29 AM
EXPOSURE
A blonde is walking down the street with her blouse open and her right
breast hanging out. A policeman approaches her and says, "Ma'am, are
you aware that I could cite you for indecent exposure?"
She says, "Why, officer?"
Because your breast is hanging out."
She looks down and says, "OH MY GOD, I left the baby on the bus
again
************************************************** **********
BLONDE ON THE SUN A Russian, an American, and a Blonde were talking
one day.
The Russian said, 'We were the first in space!"
The American said, "We were the first on the moon!"
The Blonde said, "So what? We're going to be the first on the sun!"
The Russian and the American looked at each other and shook their
heads.
You can't land on the sun, you idiot! You'll burn up!" said the
Russian.
To which the Blonde replied, "We're not stupid, you know. We're going
at night!"
************************************************** **********
SPEEDING TICKET A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks
her very nicely if he could see her license. She replies in a huff, "I wish
you guys would get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my
license and then today you expect me to show it to you
************************************************** **********
THE VACUUM A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was her
turn. She rolled the dice and she landed on Science & Nature.
Her question was, "If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name,
can you hear it?"
She thought for a time and then asked, "Is it on or off?"
************************************************** **********
FINAL EXAM The blonde reports for her university final examination
that consists of yes/no type questions. She takes her seat in the
examination hall, stares at the question paper for five minutes and then, in
a fit
of inspiration, takes her purse out, removes a coin and starts tossing
the coin, marking the answer sheet: Yes, for Heads, and No, for Tails.
Within half an hour she is all done, whereas the rest of the class is
still sweating it out.
During the last few minutes she is seen desperately throwing the coin,
muttering and sweating. The moderator, alarmed, approaches her and
asks what is going on. "I finished the exam in half an hour, but I'm
rechecking my answers."
************************************************** **********
THE BLONDE JOKE TO END ALL BLONDE JOKES!
There was a blonde woman who was having financial troubles so she
decided to kidnap a child and demand a ransom. She went to a local park,
grabbed a little boy, took him behind a tree and wrote this note: I have
kidnapped your child. Leave $10,000 in a plain brown bag behind the big
oak
tree in the park tomorrow at 7 A.M. Signed, The Blonde.
She pinned the note inside the little boy's jacket and told him to go
straight home. The next morning, she returned to the park to find the
$10,000 in a brown bag behind the big oak tree, just as she had
instructed. Inside the bag was the following note. . . Here is your
money. I
cannot believe that one blonde would do this to another.
A blonde is walking down the street with her blouse open and her right
breast hanging out. A policeman approaches her and says, "Ma'am, are
you aware that I could cite you for indecent exposure?"
She says, "Why, officer?"
Because your breast is hanging out."
She looks down and says, "OH MY GOD, I left the baby on the bus
again
************************************************** **********
BLONDE ON THE SUN A Russian, an American, and a Blonde were talking
one day.
The Russian said, 'We were the first in space!"
The American said, "We were the first on the moon!"
The Blonde said, "So what? We're going to be the first on the sun!"
The Russian and the American looked at each other and shook their
heads.
You can't land on the sun, you idiot! You'll burn up!" said the
Russian.
To which the Blonde replied, "We're not stupid, you know. We're going
at night!"
************************************************** **********
SPEEDING TICKET A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks
her very nicely if he could see her license. She replies in a huff, "I wish
you guys would get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my
license and then today you expect me to show it to you
************************************************** **********
THE VACUUM A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was her
turn. She rolled the dice and she landed on Science & Nature.
Her question was, "If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name,
can you hear it?"
She thought for a time and then asked, "Is it on or off?"
************************************************** **********
FINAL EXAM The blonde reports for her university final examination
that consists of yes/no type questions. She takes her seat in the
examination hall, stares at the question paper for five minutes and then, in
a fit
of inspiration, takes her purse out, removes a coin and starts tossing
the coin, marking the answer sheet: Yes, for Heads, and No, for Tails.
Within half an hour she is all done, whereas the rest of the class is
still sweating it out.
During the last few minutes she is seen desperately throwing the coin,
muttering and sweating. The moderator, alarmed, approaches her and
asks what is going on. "I finished the exam in half an hour, but I'm
rechecking my answers."
************************************************** **********
THE BLONDE JOKE TO END ALL BLONDE JOKES!
There was a blonde woman who was having financial troubles so she
decided to kidnap a child and demand a ransom. She went to a local park,
grabbed a little boy, took him behind a tree and wrote this note: I have
kidnapped your child. Leave $10,000 in a plain brown bag behind the big
oak
tree in the park tomorrow at 7 A.M. Signed, The Blonde.
She pinned the note inside the little boy's jacket and told him to go
straight home. The next morning, she returned to the park to find the
$10,000 in a brown bag behind the big oak tree, just as she had
instructed. Inside the bag was the following note. . . Here is your
money. I
cannot believe that one blonde would do this to another.