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View Full Version : Some new Ponderings by George Carlin


ChrisCantSkate
01-26-2003, 09:23 AM
1. Is it good if a vacuum really sucks?
2. Why is the third hand on the watch called the second hand?
3. If a word is misspelled in the dictionary, how would we ever know?
4. If Webster wrote the first dictionary, where did he find the words?
5. Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack?
6. Why does "slow down" and "slow up" mean the same thing?
7. Why does "fat chance" and "slim chance" mean the same thing?
8. Why do "tug" boats push their barges?
9. Why do we sing "Take me out to the ball game" when we are already there?
10. Why are they called "stands" when they are made for sitting?
11. Why is it called "after dark" when it really is "after light"?
12. Doesn't "expecting the unexpected" make the unexpected expected?
13. Why are a "wise man" and a "wise guy" opposites?
14. Why do "overlook" &"oversee" mean opposite things?
15. Why is "phonics" not spelled the way it sounds?
16. If work is so terrific, why do they have to pay you to do it?
17. If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?
18. If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
19. If you are cross-eyed and have dyslexia, can you read all right?
20. Why is bra singular and panties plural?
21. Why do you press harder on the buttons of a remote control when you
know the batteries are dead?
22. Why do we put suits in garment bags and garments in a suitcase?
23. How come abbreviated is such a long word?
24. Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them?
25. Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
26. Why do they call it a TV set when you only have one?
27. Christmas is weird. What other time of the year do you sit in
front of a dead tree and eat candy out of your socks?

pdiggitydogg
01-26-2003, 10:38 AM
:crazy: i thought tug boats did pull other boats

Sol's Eye
01-26-2003, 11:44 AM
Originally posted by pdiggitydogg
:crazy: i thought tug boats did pull other boats

They do both, really.

Rob
01-26-2003, 12:40 PM
Originally posted by ChrisCantSkate
18. If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

:D

ebpda9
01-26-2003, 01:41 PM
LOL. i liked the first one :yes:

94_AcCoRd_EX
01-26-2003, 07:33 PM
Lol those are all funny :bow:

Civickid0to60
01-26-2003, 07:42 PM
AAHAHAHHAHA those rock man.

ForgottenPlace
07-16-2020, 08:19 AM
It's been so many years, and his videos are still relevant. Saw the topic, registered, and even decided on necroposting. It's a pity there's no one like him right now.

TimmyHollins
12-01-2020, 03:44 AM
Indeed, the things he wrote were the stuff of legends.

fertooos
12-24-2020, 03:29 AM
Who can tell me how to check my computer if it is compatible with 4K gaming and can be used for this purpose. And what are the requirements to the Internet connection? I am from https://populationstat.com/india/mumbai and i do not know how to test my PC for the required parameters. I will appreciate all your suggestions, I am sure you will help me with my queries. Thanks for your attention.

Bittebri12
03-03-2021, 10:04 PM
Seo or Digital Marketing expert GO HOME!

Bittebri12
03-03-2021, 10:05 PM
12

Bittebri12
03-03-2021, 10:06 PM
2342341234

bisseranast
09-26-2021, 04:23 AM
16. If work is so terrific, why do they have to pay you to do it?

Great question. But if they don't get paid, the work won't automatically be amazing.