married, love and unhappy?

[mt.biker]

Well this obviously doesn’t apply to me, but is it possible for a coupe to be in love and unhappy?

I'm not going to go into a lot of detail on this one but I think a coupe i know whos been married for sometime and truly love eachother are finding themselves unhappy.

Anythoughts?

[Mushroom]

I use Heinlein's defintion for love - (paraphrased) the state in which another's happiness is intimately linked to one's own happiness.

So, sure, people could be in love and unhappy. One could also be in love with someone who's unhappy, or someone who makes you unhappy.

[silver]

definitely.
you can be unhappy with your home life and love your parents.
think of how many relationships where people choose to split even though they love each other, it has happened to me, too often at that, actually it was always the girls decision with me, i hate life. ;(

[mt.biker]

alright well i guess i'm not the only one that figures they can be in love and unhappy.... this isn't good at all :no: Thanks for your imput guys...

[DsBlu01CivEX]

yah I agree...Love and happiness don't always coincide with each other. And just because a person is unhappy doesn't mean it's with their significant other...there are so many other things that can make a person unhappy (work being one of them)....and I also think that there are different types of love, which also has to be taken into consideration.

[RU_Teg]

My parents love eachother but their rather unhappy being together...It's like when my father leaves to the dominican republic their all lovey dovey and always speaking but when he's here their arguing like crazy...their only together b/c I'm still in highschool...I graduate on june 7th and me and my mother are moving to Boston after I graduate and leaving my pops behind...hopefully thats what will happen b/c i want to leave NY...guess it'll be the best for my parents too....so yeah you can be in love and be unhappy...

[Racing Rice]

Its possible that they are still in love and just bored with eachother. Marrige isnt easy, you spend night and day with the same person. After a while it can get frustrating. They need to keep new and exciting things in thier life. Go out and try new stuff together.

Its also possible that they can be together and be unhappy. Especially if there are kids involved. Or the come from a background that looks down on divorce.

Once your married, if you do it for the right reasons, your two souls become like one. So, its possible for them to still love eachother. There is always a little place in you heart for someone you spent a lot of time with and had a lot of good memories.

Okay Im done rambling, hope I made some sense. :paranoid:

[RU_Teg]

^ Made lots of sense to me...

[Rob]

I'm only gonna say one thing....love, trust, respect....you them in a relationship and you can make it work no matter what happens...you loose any one of those three, might as well move on......

[ebpda9]

Originally posted by AccordinStyle
I'm only gonna say one thing....love, trust, respect....you them in a relationship and you can make it work no matter what happens...you loose any one of those three, might as well move on......


amen to that brotha rob;)

[SofaKingSmooth]

Originally posted by AccordinStyle
I'm only gonna say one thing....love, trust, respect....you them in a relationship and you can make it work no matter what happens...you loose any one of those three, might as well move on......



i agree completly..... once any of those things are lost there is no going back.

[Racing Rice]

Originally posted by SofaKingSmooth
i agree completly..... once any of those things are lost there is no going back.

Technically, I dont agree. Any of things can be fixed if you care enough about each other to want to work it out. The problem is most of the time, they dont want to put the effort in working it out. Its easier just to split up.

[DsBlu01CivEX]

Originally posted by Racing Rice
Technically, I dont agree. Any of things can be fixed if you care enough about each other to want to work it out. The problem is most of the time, they dont want to put the effort in working it out. Its easier just to split up.


:yes: some people are capable of gaining any of those three back if they are willing to work at it. There is a reason why you gave the other person those 3 things in the first place....

[Rob]

RR & D :bs: ...once you loose trust in someone, that's when jealousy and bickering start...now you loose respect...so now you're always second guessing the person and wondering what they're doing, where they are, etc....now, how the hell can you love someone if you don't trust or respect them? It's a pyramid effect...been there, done that....and got f:censored: cked over....

[GirlRacer]

This might not make any sense...but some people are happy being unhappy.

[Racing Rice]

Originally posted by AccordinStyle
RR & D :bs: ...once you loose trust in someone, that's when jealousy and bickering start...now you loose respect...so now you're always second guessing the person and wondering what they're doing, where they are, etc....now, how the hell can you love someone if you don't trust or respect them? It's a pyramid effect...been there, done that....and got f:censored: cked over....

Your right, you need all of those things to keep a relationship working. But, it can be worked out if there is a problem. Whether it be through counceling or whatever. If you care about someone enough, then its possible to get through stuff. You just have to take the effort and do it. Whether you believe that or not, its true.

Thats part of the problem with society today. Most people look for the easy way out instead of putting time to and effort into working out problems.

Heres another word that has to be part of a working relationship.. Compromise, without it you wont beable to find a middle ground where both parties can be happy.

The key to it, is to realize you there is a problem. Then do something about it. If you let it go to far, then your right. It wont workout and you should start working on the divorce papers.

[Rob]

Originally posted by Racing Rice
Heres another word that has to be part of a working relationship.. Compromise, without it you wont beable to find a middle ground where both parties can be happy.

I agree with you 100% on the compromise part.....